Well, you certainly don’t sound mentally unbalanced.

You’re overlooking one important fact: She wasn’t fucking stabbed. She was shot to death. By a lunatic with a gun. Because it’s so fucking easy for lunatics to get guns.

Wait’ll you see what President Donald Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Drumpf has planned for our supreme court.

The Detroit-Dallas game the week before, I think.

Not like anyone’s proved it.

See, if there’s soccer in the US, Deadspin considers themselves duty bound to convince everyone it’s shit. Soccer is something that happens only in Europe, according to them.

Seems kind of harsh for only a few combined hours of kid-raping.

“He complains to referees (Mike Tomlin would not approve). He complains to anyone who will listen (anarchy!).”

No shit about the ticket prices. I was thinking of going to Colombia-Paraguay at the Rose Bowl. But the cheapest ticket is fifty bucks. Fuck that shit.

Because sometimes the tree of liberty needs to be watered with the blood of whoever the fuck happens to be around.

Oh, of course he is.

Congressman Troll, yes.

Cassius is a good, pagan, Roman name, godsdammit.

That’s incredibly easy:

I like how the spreading stains in his trousers are strategically cropped out.

Plus, as I understand it, New Horizons is essentially fitted with a dial-up modem. It was launched in 2006 and travel speed was of the essence, after all.

“He was either willfully ignorant, genuinely stupid, or lying.”

And those people are Eurosnobs. If a person is noisily convinced the local league isn’t worth the time of day, they can own the term.

And, if it’s not the highest level possible, it’s absolutely essential to take a giant festering dump all over it. Because how else would everyone know how much better you are at watching it?

Yeah, but think how much everyone would hate the ‘07 Patriots if they’d won.