Man, even the Smurfquakes’ mascot plays thuggishly.

It’s just that, for all the billions and billions of dollars Combover Man claims to have, you’d think he could afford to pay someone to make sure his ads didn’t have Nazi soldiers in them.

Me and my friends used to dress up as the Italian army. We’d lose or give up or just plain wander off after 5 or 10 minutes and spend the afternoon kicking back.

That’s how I see it, too: The Atticus of Go Set a Watchman is the earlier, shabbier version of the Atticus of To Kill a Mockingbird.

Who the fuck has to watch soccer? Some of us enjoy watching soccer. Live with it.

Plus she saved the team’s asses with her goal-line header in the Sweden game.

Not necessarily: Maybe some woman was trying to pleasure herself by rubbing her groinal area against the Metro Card machine?

He cleared all that brush.

I think I’m totally ungrey at Jalopnik, like I know anything about cars. Otherwise it’s one of those you-can’t-explain-that things like the tides, or Billy Haisley’s ability to land a gig writing about soccer.

Hey, I watch football on Sundays, just like Ms. Jones. I just need to work on walking three miles on those other days, and I’ll be in good shape.

I’m late to that party because I don’t follow tennis very closely. But yeah, it looks like she is making that case.

Yick. The NY Times’ and Sharapova’s grapes, I can get a whiff of their sourness from here.

Context question: Why is this random schmuck tweeting his so-called thoughts about Serena Williams to J. K. Rowling in the first place?

But not a veteran who needs treatment for PTSD.

1) An undifferentiated clump of cells is not “a kid”.

Anyway, since the goal was assisted and finished by MLS players, I expect Haisley will be along to tell us it was shit.

Missing the Colbert Report all the more.

Zardes is going to be great. He’s already pretty damn good.

There’s actually such a thing as a confetti gun (more of a confetti cannon) that blasts confetti into the air.

Yeah, but the comments did an excellent job of spelling out just what a shit fest the article was.