Nah, I predict things will go south when they introduce an anthropomorphic shopping bag mascot named “Baggy” who constantly gets in your way as you try to navigate the shopping aisles.

Well done

I’ve noticed people don’t often get jokes on Kotaku. Everyone’s very literal and strongly opinionated. So strange...

I choose... MAGNETS! Did I win?

Godammit. Just this week I was supremely disappointed to find out the entire Parts Unknown series is leaving Netflix later in the month. Objectively one of the best television shows of all time.

This is the only answer

A magnetic headphone jack is fucking brilliant. Take note Apple...

Well, if I was already spending $3,200 on stationary, I would probably steal VIP basketball tickets if given the chance. Those things are EXPENSIVE!

EPA Cleanup Taskforce? So this administration not only believes people have EPA abilities, but is creating a task force to get rid of them? Unbelievable.

Thank YOU!

Is this article a joke? I’ve spent the better part of the last hour trying to take screenshots with my iPhone 4 as instructed in the article and have yet to take a single one!

You can take screenshots with your iPhone!?

Yass!

Here is my latest creation (it’s a picture of The Big Dipper)

My latest attempt:

Hey Ryan,

Oh, good. My son is coming to visit next weekend to connect my VCR to my new tv (I want to watch my old tapes) and I just want to make sure I have all the right connectors.

Hi Alex,

lol

Yeah, well our sun happened 8 minutes and 20 seconds ago. At that time I was just emerging from my cubicle on the way to the bathroom.