I live in a constant state of comparison in which other people best me, probably because the two industries I work in are highly competitive and also probably because I’m a mess, but I’ve never seen it as a reason to be mean or judge other women. I get the psych behind being mean because of feeling threatened or…

As a 34 year old who is having major sads over her 45 year old ex falling in mega love with a 21 year old, I needed to read that. Thank you.

I absolutely agree that involves a certain degree of narcissism, as long term affairs are all about the cheater wanting their world to be ideal at the cost of their spouse. Instead of saying “Hey, we need to work on our problems and/or open up” and risk their spouse saying no, which would force a choice of either…

I used to think that way, too. In fact, I used to even think that some affairs saved marriages because it made it possible for someone to stay when their sexual needs weren’t getting met.

This. A trillion, billion times this.

Oh I’ve definitely thought about it, but her family is uber conservative born again Evangelicals and I’d rather she and my ex’s own brazenness be the cause of anything nutty they do. I don’t want to help with that.

I’m not sure if she or Lana Del Rey read the book, as Del Rey’s song doesn’t really seem to get it. It’s about a girl who is desired by all the boys her own age but she’d rather have this older man because he makes her so happy and she knows it’s true love, and because of that people call her Lolita.

Yes. It could end because she gets bored and/or he stops buying her shit. Or he could end his marriage for good this time and try to be with her properly.

I dated one of those! He’s in his 40s but will only date girls under 25. He tried with me but couldn’t get over me being 31, because “girls under 25 are like dating veal” and “no one will be jealous of me if I’m dating a 30something.” He’s now living with his 19 year old gf and a 20 year old is about to have his baby.…

The few mutual friends we have who know about her/his cheating haven’t met her, but from her social media it looks like they listen to a lot of the same music and read the same books. She seems like the kind of girl who is called deep and an old soul. So I’m guessing it’s big conversations about life philosophy and…

Your point about being of legal age but engaged to someone else much older is interesting. I’m 34 and my most recent ex is 45. His new gf is newly 21, and it gave me the creeps when I found out. 21 seems *so* young to me but friends keep saying age is just a number blah blah, so I chalked my creeps up to jealousy and…

Ughhhh no. I am in the throes of licking my wounds after two years of being a side piece and it *sucks*. There’s nothing glamorous about being dumb enough to tell yourself that life is complicated and the heart wants what it wants, give 100% of yourself to a dude, believe dude when he tells you he’s going to get a…

Cut him out of your life and never look back. Trust me.

There’s a difference between not sharing a part of yourself and straight up lying though, yeah? Hard facts like religion are pretty hard to hide and if Christian girl had said she was an athiest then yes, she’d be lying. If moody girl didn’t want to let that out and thought she could keep it in check then....ok.

I’ve written about this on here before, but I’m recently(ish) out of a two year affair with a married guy. I fell down a deep, dark well of infidelity research and regardless of whether it was a nutty blog or a Psychology Today article, the stats say many, maybe most, couples don’t split and come out stronger after an…

I used to buy into the “life is complicated” line around affairs, and then I was in one for two years. It was what my married lover used to say all the time to excuse his behavior and I would blindly agree. Now that it’s over I’m disgusted with myself that I let him hide from his issues with his wife and aided him in…

Fun Fact: Daniel Kibblesmith was featured on Millionaire Matchmaker (despite not being a millionaire). I thought he was the absolute dreamiest and what he described as his ideal girl pretty much sounded like me. After I looked him up on Facebook and saw we had a mutual friend, I sent off what I thought was a really…

My last boyfriend and I would talk about how not meet-cute to the rest of the world we were, even though we were pretty meet cute to us. I’m a sex worker and he was a client of a lot of um...many of my colleagues. He started following me on Twitter and everything he said was so funny/smart/relatable that I straight up…

Yep, I’m one of the “haters”. I watched her stand up special and turned it off after her bit about Black movie goers being too loud in theaters and never gave her a second chance because I like comedy that is actually funny.

There’s a great interview that she did - I think maybe it was with Seth Meyers? - where she said that as a child she wanted to change her name because no one could pronounce it, and her mother told her: “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” Truth.