If I wanted to combat the notion that my sexual assault accusation was politically motivated, I don’t think I’d hire a prominent Trump donor to represent me, then recruit Megyn Kelly to interview me.

Bitch looks like a scarecrow. Go scare crows, bitch.

Oh good, another article attacking the Democratic candidate based on thirty year old, unconfirmed allegations. Might as well vote third party so Trump gets another four years. That’ll show those moderates.

I think he needs to start having rallies again as soon as possible.

Does anyone else remember being told how Trump was going to grow into the Presidency? How the expectations and requirements of the office would force him to be Presidential? How he would learn on the job, and in the event he didn’t how there was a whole system of checks and balances run by decent, honorable ‘adults in…

Welp, it’s not 2 million dead so a job well done, I guess. /sarcasm

They always said Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln—I believe I am treated worse.

I want them to suffer and then die so that their families suffer. I’m done playing nice.

Who wants to bet most protesters from April 20 and April 30 will be diagnosed with COVID-19 in the coming weeks?

“Mom is out tonight, WHO WANTS PIZZA?!?”

“But of course, for that ending to work, you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty."

I sincerely doubt that’s going to make a difference to the racists who attack Filipinos because they assume all Asian people are Chinese. You just want this to be a totally different article, addressing a different problem.

Excuse me, sir, but you can shut the whole entire fuck up with this purposeful missing of the point and attempt to distract.

Potato salad! The Government!

Coronavirus-themed Seinfeld episode idea: Kramer and Newman hatch a scheme to hire out the homeless to go into stores and do people’s grocery shopping for them for a fee. Jon Gries returns as “Rusty”.

My parents and in-laws have both *gotten* better. There was some initial shrugging and ignoring of guidelines, but they’ve all been self-quarantining for weeks now.

Let’s be real clear... if you’re not voting for the Democratic nominee in November you’re endorsing the Texas abortion ban.

“Jesus is my vaccine” Holy Shit, that’s hilarious!! What a bunch of asshats, I love it.

Ashleigh, Ashlee, Ashley, Ayshleigh-Jane