So....I did that earlier today. In my defense I didn’t think it would work. But here we are, and I’m a jellybean murderer.

THIS 👏 BITCH 👏

Picture it, Los Angeles, 2006. I had just moved here literally the day before. I saw a listing in probably backstage or something about a model open call, so I go. It’s at the Crowne Plaza in West LA, where parking was like $50 a day or something, so I park at this lot across the street, thinking,…

Smooth Criminal with 2Cellos as well. 

when I first heard the news Naya Rivera was missing on a lake and they hadn’t found her after the first day, I think I knew it wouldn’t end well. But now that they’ve confirmed they’ve found her, I’m kinda shocked at how devastated I am, and it...I don’t know, I keep getting DOES NOT COMPUTE when I see everyone…

Well, that significantly reduces my enjoyment of this film! :) 

I have sailed a few times on various power and sail vessels both inland and offshore. I’ve even taught sailing and gotten certificates and shit.

“I am currently living at a campsite in the mountains in Santa Barbara and we are packed in like sardines!” ... “I swear, I could easily adapt to prison life.”

Nope, it was the slimy secretary to the emperor who grabbed and threw her.

This is the story behind it:

Mine is alway excited to find small spots in traffic to shoot through. Oh and tight parking spots.

True, GM didn’t approve it...but remember, this is the same era that GM DID approve naming the Beretta....despite the fact a nearly 500 year old company was (and is) still using the name...

Dang, I forgot the Italians!

That’s my brother....he seriously believes flags should be displayed by everyone. (Ok bud that’s a little fascist, but you do you) He kept bugging me about my insufficient amount of patriotism, so the last time he visited I made sure I had a pride flag flying. 

Yeah, this was embarrassing to read and a pretty low point in the Deadspin editorial. Especially since the Canadian team gave no reason for bad sportsmanship criticism, so it doesn’t even connect through that point.

+1

Don’t worry, it’s likely none of this actually happened.

Sadly the likelier situation is that none of this even happened, so we’re reading some loser’s loser fantasy.

This is a...weird study.

To be honest I did not know about the Volumetricos until fairly recently, 2010 or so. I was reading something about 131 Abarth replicas in a forum and there was a stupid spat about what a “genuine” Abarth was between someone who had built a nice replica Abarth Rally with lots of original parts and the owner of a stock…