Really can’t wait to (not) see Tom Hardy as Wilson in the gritty Home Improvement reboot.

Damn, you started the convo today. I was 15, too, a young Junior, and we lived outside DC in Maryland. I feel like it’s woven into my DNA. I remember there was a definite sense of fear and “where-were-you-when”, but also a little bit of abandon and a lot of sardonic and defiant spirit that brought every one of my…

You’re smart! Should we tag-team this next Alternate History breakthrough?

Thank you...good point. To scrivener I go! (*Procrastinates forever.*)

Yes, these are the interesting alternate histories...not slightly more fascist eurocentric dictatorships. I’ve always wanted to a read an alternate history where indigenous americans took over western europe, but I can’t think of a good jumping off point.

If the sock’s not hardened, it’s time to pardon.

Yeah, I’m sorry. I love lifehacker, but if I tried to follow even 5% of the stuff on here, they’d find me in the the middle of the highway, naked, trying to pee into my own mouth, after about 3 days.

Yeah, I’m sorry for the lice that have to hang around this dude.

Can’t take credit... its from Hot Fuzz. But yes, spread the gospel.

The sick part about this is that all this actually would prevent is OB/GYNs knowing how to provide non-invasive, early-term abortions. Logically, any doctor who knows how to perform a c-section (any surgeon or OB/GYN, most physicians) and has a basic understanding of anatomy (any doctor) can terminate a pregnancy. Not…

Yeah, not to be judge, judy, and executioner or whatev, but think it’s ok to be bothered by certain fucked-up relationships. I’ll never begrudge anyone young who has an arrangement, sugarwhatever type situation, or infantalize someone who uses sex to their advantage. But I have a dear, dear friend who had his life…

Wait, so which one did you think was the store-brand Orlando Bloom: Luke Evans or Orlando Bloom? Because they were both in that movie. My head hurts just asking that question.

My kid will lose his shit, my ex will hate it, I will be able to explain all the ridiculousness. This is a nerdy divorced parent’s dream come true. 

Fuckin’ awesome!

I just came.

Can you not spell masturbate or does the word in its correct form scare you?

Everyone = 97% of voices in my head.

Mattingly! For the last time, get rid of those sideburns!

His endorsement of Trump Jr. sounds like a watered down version of the Trump Steaks pitch.

I’m assuming this all culminates with him selling his soul to Adam Sandler.