On my 21st birthday I got so drunk I started throwing olives and limes at a bartender, was dragged out of the bar by my boyfriend and woke up with a tree branch in my hair.

Because they are Australian and they know the longer they stay outside the greater the risk of being attacked by some nightmarish killer animal.

It’s fun and unifying to have a mega-talented entertainer with the broad appeal of Beyonce. She’s our common ground. Our Breakfast at Tiffany’s, if you will! Wanting to be part of something as grand and widespread as Beyonce fandom is easy and completely understandable.

A former costar of hers (who I won’t name because he’s hated here) said that she behaves the way she does because she grew up on movie sets. Like, Lilo won’t ask for a bottle of water politely- she’ll say “I’m thirsty” with the expectation that a personal assistant will hand her a bottle within seconds, because that’s…

The life of a mentally ill addict can be no fun and no chill. I would know.

I would have rather to have a gay husband who were my best friend and eat all the stuff I cook without complaining that my shitty ex-husband from real life.

She has a house on a major swath of Long Island, has a hottie Ivy League business professor dude for a hubby who snarfs down everything she makes, a kitchen the size of Texas, her own business empire based on pretty pictures in hardcovers of elegant recipes and her own TV show narrated in her own well-modulated voice,…

There is a lightness—something almost resembling naiveté—to Garten’s elitism that separates her from other rich, white, New England-based chefs like, oh, Martha Stewart—who has a heavier, more condescending gaze.

Ina Garten is responsible for the single greatest tomato soup in my arsenal. She can do no wrong. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-tomato-basil-soup-recipe.html

me too, except now im all “STOP BEING A NICE GUY (tm) STEVE!!!! GOD, GET A LIFE!!!!”

I think I dated the same guy, or at least his NYC double. Beyond answering my questions, his only contribution to the conversation was to occasionally look at me in amazement to tell me “you’re so beautiful.” It was weird.

But when properly used, condoms ARE being fucked. Technically. So this checks-out.

Just coming to remind everyone that Jennifer Aniston absolutely upgraded.

#andNOthispostisNOT’shading’anyonebecauseimnotelevemyearsoldimeanseriously

I went on like two or three dates with a speech writer for the USTR under W and after those few dates he sent me an email complaining about how I wasn’t communicating with him enough about our relationship.

I went on an OKC date with this guy - first date was absolutely terrible. Very little conversation, and what we did discuss we argued about. We had absolutely nothing in common and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I assumed we would never see each other again, then he asked me out for round 2. I went (he was hot,…

This is sadly not surprising to me at all.

That sounds very similar to a few OKCupid dates I went on with guys who appeared to be somewhere on the spectrum. The overall awkwardness, the dead silence after answering a question (as if this were a job interview), and the inexplicable contacting me later to ask for a second date in spite of it all.

My historically worst date ever was with a guy who was late, insulted my hat, worked out my share of dinner plus tax and tip to the penny, professed his love for his teenage  lesbian roommate, and who said that oral sex was creepy and perverted. By then, honestly, I was hanging in for the sheer amazement factor.

Just want to say the use of Nine Inch Nails’ “Something I Can Never Have” in the bordello was brilliant. Summing up what people come to Westworld for.