Ha, I love that adherents of The Secret or seedier mainstream religious movements like the Gospel of Prosperity seem to think they’ve found a sort of loophole, as though God or the Universe or whatever has to let them positive-energy their way into whatever bullshit they want, cause thems the rules. I wonder if it’s a…

It made me fall out of love with Oprah.

I can’t remember the last time I read such a holier-than-thou post.

I agree that the article and the title don’t sync up, but I loved the title!!! It made me a little disappointed that the article wasn’t bitchier.

That’s a reality show I would watch: Real Housewenches of the Ancient Holy Roman Empire.

If your best solution to getting more people to believe in your faith is to have a bunch of kids you can indoctrinate, I’d say that’s an admission of the weakness of your claims.

I just saw a Facebook fail that read:

I can let you in on the secret. He is not the real Cary Elwes. The real Elwes has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia.

She looked a gift cake in the mouth.

I mean, the pictured actor is CLEARLY Spartan. TOTALLY different side of the Mediterranean.

High fives for being out now!! With real food and real beds and the ability to use your cell phone :) Congrats!

Whenever people armchair diagnose celebs, it makes me feel less comfortable sharing my experiences and struggles with mental illness. If Kanye’s series of bizarre and out-of-touch tweets freak you out so much you think he needs to be hospitalized, holy shit are you gonna be fucking terrified of me.

Love. Love. Really, really love.

Do ya think they carefully ‘shop out imperfections on these baby pics before sharing them? Any milia, uneven skin tones, etc? Even though babies are already perfect in every way? Because that’s just the kind of people they are?

Read all of the posts in Will Ferrell’s loveahhhs voice.

So... Paul Ryan has definitely jerked off while watching Braveheart, correct?

So, full warning: I work at one of these important places that we have to spend more time than we should keeping people from destroying it.

I love that the question of whether to replace the “Strict Constructionist” during a lame duck year is going to be settled by the “Activist Senators” of his own party.

I didn’t think I would have an opportunity to use this again so soon.

And let us not forget that a burrita gets only 78% of the guacamole as a burrito, despite having the exact same ingredients.