“WE ALL READ GROUPTHINK and CLASHTALK.”

Well thank you very much, dear! This is why you’re my favorite. Some of my kids are... well, I’ve had a lot of eggnog so let’s just say it. They’re as cute as a basket of kittens and at least half as smart. Bless their little hearts.

So, I’m really struggling with the cognitive dissonance of knowing men around the world will take any opportunity to keep women down and the idea that I’m supposed to fall in love with one.

My mom is a historical preservationist specializing in the Victorian era and she always laughs about this. She’ll joke that she’s “probably inhaled enough arsenic to be immune.” Even though she now wears gloves and sometimes even a mask it certainly wasn’t standard when she started 30 years ago. Whenever we would…

My boyfriend and I were spiderman and spider-gwen.

Wilma and Fred Astairstone.

Taken towards the end of the night, starting to look a bit patchy, but was DA BOMB. Also tried to not speak at all at the party with the help of handy silent film signs (the ‘Shut up.’ and ‘Fuck you’ worked particularly well, as well as ‘May I have another beer, please?’), but is more difficult than it looks.

Since my hair is already an unnatural shade of bluey-green, I went as Sailor Mercury (props to my amazing friend who helped me sew this thing, or else I would’ve been Sailor Towel Around My Waist). My partner went as the Witch King from LotR, meaning that he spent most of the night dealing with people going “CHECK IT…

They used the animation and not the song from Skeleton Dance in Disney’s Halloween Treat when I was a kid in the 80s. It was compilation of all different Halloween or scary themed Disney stuff. I had taped it off tv on a VHS and watched it all year. Seeing the clip now makes me want to go find it on YouTube. (and the…

Yay! I look forward to my social media feeds filling up with posts from my (white) basic b!tch acquaintances “squeeing” over the “cute, mixed babies” because everybody knows that “interracial babies are always the cutest!!!” (unless they’re too black).

All these things and the comments are why I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears.

Because the UK has really strict rules about advertising and this is suggesting that you can go from red to blonde very easily when anyone who has ever colored their hair can tell you that’s not the case.