Came here to see ‘America’ on the list, saw that America IS the list, was not disappointed.

we must take away their pipeweed, precious

I’m going to see if I can file a restraining order to keep Bernie Sanders at least 500 yards away from the 2020 election (and all future presidential elections) at all times.

Little T? I’m gonna go ahead and assume the T stands for ‘toolbox’.

A few months back I suggested that we collect all the trash from the Pacific Ocean, make an island out of it, and move them all there, where they can watch endless screenings of Hillary’s America and eat all the unseasoned chicken they want. We clean up the ocean and get rid of the racists, two birds with one stone.

I’ve only flown first class on a short domestic flight (IAD to JFK), the main difference seemed to be the seats were bigger, and as a fat guy that made the extra $90-ish more than worth it. The free scotch was just a bonus.

If I was looking for someone to date, I would have only one criteria but it’s a big one: they have to share my interests. I haven’t had a lot of long-term relationships, but the major problem with all of them is that we never liked the same stuff, aside from the physical. That’s not a stable foundation for a…

I need a better “laughter into tears” gif for this.

“If things are okay for me then surely they must be okay for everyone because this is a great country and we live in a just world.”

Yep.

My high school economics & government teacher (late middle-aged black man) said “great googly moogly” at least once every other class period.

As my elementary school classmates once said back in the day, “see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.”

Best thing about Target is that they don’t play any music so you can actually hear yourself think.

Oh, so the water is back to normal? I’m sure the city government are all drinking it now, right?

This monument is part of ripping off the Band-Aid and actually treating the wound.

With chickenhawk extraordinaire John Bolton as national security advisor it’s practically a given that we’ll end up in a war with somebody.

Third, the majority of the states citizens will tell these few idiots to go kick rocks.

As someone from and currently residing in SC I hope this never happens and I’m willing to do whatever is needed to see that it doesn’t. Fuck the CSA, fuck CSA nostalgia, fuck secession, and fuck the gun humpers. They’ve done nothing but try to bring my state back to the dark age of pre-Civil War days.

Hey there friendo. People like you give SC natives a bad name. You disgust me. You can fap to these secessionist fantasies as you clutch your guns all you want, but they will always remain fantasies. American society is leaving you and your kind behind, and it can’t do it fast enough. Enjoy fading into obscurity on…