Like any good drunk, he waited till the day AFTER the Super Bowl to do this.

Teams just do not melt down at that temperature!

A small flying object, traveling at a low rate of speed is threatening to bring down one of the strongest infrastructures in the United States. I think the first thing Pete Carroll will do once he reviews the tape is make an apologetic phone call to Mr. Bush.

I think the only person that could really say this is a personal injury lawyer in the Buffalo/Niagara region.

I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on these until I read "I love Ralph Wilson Stadium."

Marshawn should give a lengthy interview concerning his thoughts on deflate-gate. The media universe would collapse within itself. A black hole of hot takes.

I like how you repeated "exactly why" for emphasis. It really made your point.

It was Brett Favre. Brett Favre fucked the footballs, and they lost air. With his tiny penis.

I told my daughter that when I get the old 'six months to live' or some such from my doctor, Im going to start using heroin. Always wanted to do it but scared of the powerful addiction factor. I can hardly wait.

You are aware that 18-19 year olds do porn, are teenagers, and are basically the exact same age as the teens a recruitment expert would focus on right? I mean if you're going to try to be pedantic, get your fucking facts straight.

I had the same reaction at his age when my mom said I couldn't accept free tickets to Penn State football games anymore.

These are the people who make fun of Southerners. Wow.

The only response it could muster in the aftermath of the Sandusky scandal was to blindly and uselessly swing an axe at Penn State's football program, for no other reason than to justify its own existence.

Hot damn, I've been wanting to read that for ages. Thanks for the heads-up!

Hot damn, I've been wanting to read that for ages. Thanks for the heads-up!

I heard after her last day trip she only uses Grinder.

Little known fact, but Andre Rison met Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes on matches.com

Pete Morelli was reminded that one day he may have to cross the George Washington Bridge. He quickly reconsidered the call.

I was mostly making a joke, though I would gladly watch such a tape if someone produces it. What a weird conversation.

Nice of you to steal that from Magary.

Ebert didn't believe Mariotti's story about seeing a homeless Chinese man with a red ribbon tied around his wrist being pulled into a gray van.