What else is a thug to do when he eat cheese from the government?

I hate the strip club. My wife and our friends love it. Since I am too modest and introverted to get a lap dance or stand at the stage and go through that, I just casually fly by the stage and drop a $5 when she's not looking a few times a night and give two or three girls a $20 but don't accept the dance. Goes over…

Looks like Arod has a Kinja comment army here to support the sullying of his name which is mentioned only once in an objective (factual) way.

Was that Daniel Day-Lewis, disguised as kid, that got out of the car and started flopping around in the street like he had been shot?

Well hopefully you used find and replace or a macro and didnt have to type it that way everytime. It was annoying to read it over and over, I can't imagine typing it over and over.

Warren Sapp, parrot on shoulder, walks into a bar...

You misspelled "feet"

I will go you one further: Roger Goddell called that play. Got word to Kraft, who got word to Belichick, who got word to the "elderly" ball boy so he could get the ball deflated so Malcolm Brown could even hold on to it. We all know that Goodell is the NFL and that The NFL hates Marshawn Lynch. This conspiracy, like…

who needs a union when you have fucking Demaurice Smith at the helm?

Some teenagers at a post prom party shortly after he retired, probably others.

I would probably be on the teams side if it was any other team but the Yankees.

In psychological circles they call it the Cosby-Sharper Effect.

Two bottles of Tequila? Suddenly it all makes sense.

So...drink some alcohol and get suspended a year. Have 18 drinks at a bar, drive away with teammate. Get in a wreck and kill said teammate. 10 games.

Fair enough. I have a personal affection for Red because I am a big Elliott Smith fan:

I was trying not to be too much of a financial burden, but - having saved my change for two years just to buy a bottle and thus knowing, even fleetingly, the warmth and pleasure Blue provides - I accept and promise to die six months sooner to offset expenses to cover the cost.

My great great grandmother used to always say: "You live by the teat, you die by the teat." No punchline. She really used to say that.

When I am 82, and on my way out, for the love of all that is holy, I grant all of you permission to take over my diet and feed me only candy, ice cream, sodas, and Johnny Walker Red.

wonder what this guy thinks of kids coming out of GGGeorgia?