This needs more stars.

I once woke up with a melty Junior Mint stuck to my chest, which of course, I thought was some sort of cancerous growth. But after investigation, I realized what it was. And yeah, I ate it.

Mine will barf, look at it accusingly, then gobble it up with a huge grin. Dogs, man.

I'd hit it. And I aint even sorry.

I'm so jealous that your dog uses the litter box!! My giant lab just trots outside, and when he feels like it, just poops on the patio instead of the grass like he's supposed to. And he LOOOOOVES to eat cat turds out of the litter box. We've started calling it "Cat Candy". So gross, my god.

Yes, you only have to pay 10% in order to be released.

Sprinkling a little powdered parmesan cheese into my Kraft Easy Mac counts as having an Italian chef counts, right? RIGHT??

I just posted something similar to your story, and I want to echo your sentiments.

I'll never not star a Cocaine Bear comment.

God, or whomever, bless kind people such as those who helped you out. We've all had shit-days where we just lose it and flip, but having nice people to pick you up when you've literally or figuratively fallen down really makes me think the world will be ok.

Oh god, Mercola needs to die in a fire.

Well, us white people *are* pretty much the worst. Truly.

Same here!! It creeps me out, especially since they're all black men. What message is she trying to convey? Sit down, Madge.

Damn! Vickie was awesome, and gave me a hug. (I met her in line for food at Gelson's)

THANK YOU, La.C, for getting me out of the greys!! I met Tamara in a bar in Newport, and she was kind of standoffish. But Gretchen was super nice! (Also, very drunk) The guys didn't try to take her keys, and she drove off drunkenly in the mercedes Slade bought her. Or leased her. Whatever, I know he's a broke-ass fool.

I've also met a ton of the OC housewives. Vickie, Tamara, and Gretchen. I met Gretchen while she was plastered in a bar, and drove home in her new mercedes from Slade. How exactly do I get out of the greys?

Good lord, I have so many stories! I live in Orange County, but spend a lot of time in LA, so I have lots of stories! Anyway, my story about SUR, is that I was bartended by Jax, and he told me that my eyes look like "chocolate diamonds". MY EYES ARE HAZEL, MOTHERFUCKER!

That chicken looks like someone stripped off the breading from a chicken Hungry Man meal, chopped up the pieces, and put them on a pizza.

That pizza looks like the school lunch I was served in 7th grade, and I refused to eat it. Also, La.C., I've been reading your posts for like forever and I pretty much worship you. Could you help get me out of the greys? I have great insight into the LA and OC culture scene to share with Jezzies!!

I just posted in the greys, but when Jax was my bartender at SUR, he told me that my eyes were like "chocolate diamonds". BARF-TASTIC, JAX! (Also, please get me out of the greys!)