Can’t help but feel that playing Trump in poker would be hilariously easy. Either way, you gotta wonder what he’s so worried about with this interview.

Adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, aka Storm Daniels, must really have something President Donald Trump doesn’t want publicly disclosed.

“The fact that a sitting president is pursuing over $20M in bogus ‘damages’ against a private citizen, who is only trying to tell the public what really happened, is remarkable. Likely unprecedented in our history. We are NOT going away and we will NOT be intimidated. #bastard.” “Bastard” is English for “Trump.”

Thomas Jefferson must be rolling over in his slave.

I chuckled but it’s a bit unrealistic, as that language is far too coherent for Trump. “Dictate”? Please. And he couldn’t pronounce “Ayatollah Khomeini” if he tried. 

I know that I would have run in to save those skiers. Even if I didn’t have a weapon.

Holy crap! Why are you still on the lift? Abandon ship! Abandon ship!

Jesus, the person in the red coat riding at that point just disappears into the tangled wreckage.

Likewise.

The Phoenix Nah, Sons

Maybe they can administer the ‘bowling ball’ test on the President.

It is disturbing how plausibly that reads as a Trump quote.

“Today’s the day I might just be a step too slow...”

cheesecake is not a pie, its a cake it says so right in the name

The best bracket is the Deadspin Name of the Year contest.

I think one of the foundational rules of American society is that if you have a criticism of Fred Rogers, you are automatically found to be holding the wrong position.

[Ticking sound of a clock’s seconds hand moving]   

This is...SnortsCenter

.Undersized chin implant. Hand me down from Ivanka’s first procedure.