Bless my soul have I got a story!

Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader!

Is that why you hang your hat in Tennessee?

They’re easy for me to avoid; they all live in Texas.

(i’m stretching. i need kinja to give me back my star power)

Yes! This happens to me on my phone all the time. I’ll click on the post I want to read and then suddenly everything moves down and it’s like, “Ha Ha, J/K motherfucker, you just clicked an ad!” Gawker & Co have to being doing that on purpose right?

so lets talk about gawker’s native advertising for like a hot second because i accidentally click on that shit like 45 times a day

WHO’S COMING WITH ME WE’LL MEET BY THIS STATUE OF A GUY BONIN’ A FISH

In honor of my favorite Kinja moment this week. I needed to complete this thought. Also happy Saturday you magnificent, beautiful people.

The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

uh i would like to be somewhere w netflix and chinese food

WE HAVE FOUND RAFFEY.

I was gonna rave 4 ever at that point in life. I was so high on cloud 9 there could have been a family, and I wouldn’t have known.

The worst thing about “dad bod” is the missed opportunity to call it a “father figure”

THE ART

I’ll be honest, I’m a little disappointed that Stratford put him through the legal process for a minor offense. Because if there’s one thing that Stratford isn’t known for, it’s for making young people sit through long, agonizing proceedings when they’d rather be doing anything else and getting nothing out of it.

ohmygod STAHP BEAR VS SHARK WITH A BAE

I’m here for the baby photos - don’t let me down commenters! Let the irony FLOW through you!

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.