For Mayweather’s sake, I don’t know why you even bothered to write anything down.

He owes me five dollars.

Oh, so you wish they were seeded? Pervert.

he was a “great captain” because every front-running mouth-breather who grew up in the 90's couldn’t wait to hitch their wagon to the next marketable “star”

well, full disclosure, I am a Yankees fan.

Clark’s sincerity could not melt steel beams.

I was thinking about it for my Blockbuster Video fines but they decided to pull the trigger first.

I’m just waiting for the Trump Administration to make all libraries illegal. Then that sweet, sweet $0.10/day penalty I’ve accrued will be gone forever!

Aaron Hernandez, an innocent man, died in prison. Yet, Tom Brady (clearly guilty of evidence tampering) walks free. That’s America for you.

Does the suicide trick work for library fines, too?

“second-rate city”

Hopefully his elbow can hold together, it’s a beautiful pitch. Maddux’s circle-change didn’t break quite as much (same direction), but seeing him backdoor it for strike three was like seeing the angels.

This gave me an idea for how to doctor balls without having anything on the pitcher. Put some pine tar on the chest protector and have the catch tap the ball on it before throwing it back. Going to keep this idea in my back pocket for when I have kids and I start taking coaching little league way too seriously.

First the SJWs came for the strength & conditioning coaches, and I said nothing, because I could get my own protein powder at GNC...

350 yd. 5 iron? Was the course in a parking lot?

There is a fan base that probably bought tickets tonight to see LeBron James play for the first time. They didn’t get a chance to see that, and that’s not cool”

This is not okay.

Charges dismissed under the time-honored legal principle of “Don’t start none, won’t be none.”

I miss when you had to draw your sex organ and mail it across the country in the hopes that the horse drawn carriage pulling your mail across the rugged, undeveloped landscape becomes waylaid by a pack of female bandits who seize the mail, find your hand drawn sex organ, and eventually track you down because, my man,…