This is definitely preferable to the type of people that name pets after popular alcoholic beverage brands.

“Fuck yeah. This walk is awesome. Gettin exercise. Hangin with my best bud, Human. We’re just loving the outd..........nope I’m done. Right here is good.”

Jesus Christ. Somewhere out there, an English teacher just hanged themselves.

When asked about his favorite players:

I’m so mad at you about how good this joke is.

W would have to add about 40 pts to his IQ to come up with that piece of art.

No, um, taste.

Dude. Eat a Snickers.

Before we all care sufficiently about Octo’s boner?!?! :(

No one cares about your boner.

You were being facetious? If so, many humble apologies.

Dude, they went to a school which is unsniffable by you. Look at their response to you and it’s clear that they have studied both micro- and macro-economics and probably mega-economics too (which enables you to assign blame for the complex workings of the global economy to one person). How else could they make such a…

We’re highly uninformed about our own healthcare system, but there’s always a legion of folks ready to tell you all about the supposedly medieval conditions in countries that have universal healthcare or something similar. “My buddy in England had a heart attack and he had to wait a week to get into the hospital, and…

One guy hears something on Fox News, misremembers it to confirm his own belief, and suddenly it’s a meme

Weird. Some things just can’t be made sense of; looking at you republicans on any form of public assistance (which includes farm subsidies and tax breaks).

So, it’s your position that people are literally dying all of the time in Germany because they can’t get ambulances for THREE TO FOUR HOURS, and yet that fact is never discussed when we talk about global health care policies?

So weird that the POTUS would want to talk about his signature policy achievement.

Like a lot of celebrities, the president isn't going on a talk show if he doesn't have something to plug.

That isn’t the case in Canada.

Bet he could have rambled on about Jebus as much as he wanted.

ESPN is shit.