That’s fucking hilariously naive. If it’s “soot,” please explain the curly wig and thick red lips. 

In my opinion, Noah is the best overall interviewer, but when Colbert has a guest that he’s genuinely interested in (recently: John Oliver, Jonathan Van Ness, Jeff Goldblum), or an opportunity to nerd out about Catholicism or Lord of the Rings, he’s nonpareil.

Bleh, I just watched Kimmel interview D’Arcy Carden, and…

Noah has said publicly that if you come on his show, he’s going to treat you as respectfully as he would a guest in his home. Sometimes that’s deeply refreshing. Sometimes it makes me want to huck rocks at him.

So are they, like, delicious? 

I got a real spicy take over here: I think the president tweets too much. 

As far as apologizing for fucking it up goes, this feels pretty good, no? 

That’s a heel who’s wearing heels. 

Good to know Blizzard no longer wants my American dollars. 

Great to see Ego Nwodim getting some screen time!

My awful cousin loves them. He called me a bitch the day I was diagnosed with cancer.

I assume the rest are purchased for the Bad Place? 

Bibimjjang also might be a good option for you -- it’s the prepared gochujjang that’s added to bibimbap. 3:1:1:2 of gochujjang, sweet vinegar, sesame oil, water. 

“Unrest” is a flawed but lovely RPG set in ancient India! 

Thank you!

Thank you!

Jerry, I’m so glad you’re well!

I’m gonna watch it for the first time tonight! I want high-fives, and also possibly hugs? 

As a nervous flyer, it’s my great joy to preposterously overtip (30-40%) airport bartenders. You are doing a public service. 

Because if there’s anything feminism is about, it’s shaming women and limiting their choices. Great job, Not Buying It! 

Waaaaaaaaaaaaa I was fired for being a gargantuan asshole to someone I’m supposed to educate and enrich, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.