Aw, shit, you just made me pity Don Jr. I feel gross now. 

once-nixed chapter about the idiot 16% of Americans who survive the initial culling but die anyway because they are too soft to live, eating poisonous berries and falling asleep with lit cigarettes and attempting to hook up generators but frying themselves instead.

I’m still on “Our focus is on cryptocurrencies.” 

I think it’s a collective decision that she’s Problematic, but not irredeemable. Her takes on femininity and aging and sex abuse survival are so good; her jokes on yellowface and her dismissal of whitewashing criticisms are agonizing.

Ted Danson literally did blackface and shouted “ni**er” on a stage in 1993 (a joke…

I’m really glad that Mike Schur knows where he’s going, by all appearances. I would hate for The Good Place to turn into a Lost-style fiasco. Or even the last season of Parks and Rec, which was still warm and lovely but had really run out of stories to tell. 

So, you know that orgy scene in the banya? I have it on reliable Russian authority that you have to wear a wool or felt hat in the banya so you don’t go bald.

Imagine how much sexier it would have been if they were all wearing these:

Cats have spikes on their penises. So this is some real sick BDSM shit. 

My therapist is all about “detach with love.” If the shit she does hurts you more than you’re able to feel love for her, gtfo.

You omitted both kappas and rusalkas.

You got a secret drowning fetish? 

Correct pronunciation is good kinja. 

How can you say that about a notorious racist!

God damn it if we’re going to have an out-and-out nutcase on the stage, it should have been Mike Gravel and/or one of the Gravel Teens. 

It’s that thing Elon Musk wanted to build, but now it’s just a tunnel with cars. 

Key doesn’t have amazing pipes, but he can certainly carry a tune!

I am, thanks! I don’t travel solo if I can help it anymore, but that just means I get to drag the people I love on boondoggles. 

Thanks!

So, this is, like, not a super fun story. Maybe trigger warnings?

I was meeting my best friend in Istanbul a few years ago, arriving two nights before she did. I had booked the cutest little hotel near the Blue Mosque and was just super excited about the whole thing. When I arrived at the hotel, the very cute clerk…

Oh GOD that whispered “Be careful.” I’ll never forget that. 

So was Rory Stewart actually Not Terrible, or did he only seem to be Not Terrible in that company? I’m not sensitive enough to the nuance to be sure. 

Nah, he’s always been like this. Used to buy beepers in bulk in the 90s. I think the guy at radio shack thought he was a kingpin!

Nah, he’s always been like this. Used to buy beepers in bulk in the 90s. I think the guy at radio shack thought he…