Don’t tar us all with the same brush! I’m just a pervert. 

I wish the plot had given her a chance to give Tyrion a second shot. He worked hard to make her happy, and she never made him feel less-than. 

But the murder butterflies!

At this point, I don’t think Sansa wants it. All she’s ever encountered in the south is cruelty, manipulation, death, and pain. She’d be a good queen, but who needs that headache?

Sansa didn’t want to be Queen in the current sense, though, she wanted to be the wife of the king and bear him pretty babies and eat lemoncakes in King’s Landing. So while this is a kind of fulfillment of her season 1 wish, it certainly isn’t what she’d initially envision.

I don’t love that Sansa betrayed a…

I would have loved it if Drogon torched Jon and it went poorly. “Oh. Guess he wasn’t a Targ, then. Whoops.” 

Can I temper low fat sour cream with some hot broth, or does it absolutely have to be full fat? 

Given the current leadership deficit in Dorne, I can definitely see them wanting to wait a generation to consolidate power, but yeah — those fuckers are Unbent. I would have found the ending more satisfying if they just dissolved the Seven Kingdoms and became the Four Kingdoms, Some Cranky Islands, Chilly Bastards,…

In the books, winter kills off a huge portion of the peasant population anyway, so they might not be as fucked as they are in the first light. (There’s a fascinating digression about how wages go up as winter goes on, clearly inspired by the way the Black Death in Europe led to the end of serfdom and the right of the…

I desperately wanted Tormund to say “I hear they call you Queenstabber,” though. 

Oh wow I totally didn’t realize that was meant to be Robin Arryn! You’re right, he is kinda hot in a Kylo Ren way.

Also, Sansa shutting down Edmure Tully was the best moment of the episode for me. Sit down, fishfucker. 

Oh, good. I hope Bronn rebuilds a brothel just so Pod can get a punchcard and get the tenth one free. 

Oh daaaaaang I totally forgot about poor Jeyne Poole. That does make Sansa’s transformation into the Snark Queen of Snowy Balconies a lot less compelling.

Oh also Brienne: If she’s sitting on the Small Council, she must the new Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, right? And Pod’s a member of the Kingsguard?

Aren’t the Kingsguard not allowed to fuck? If so, that is a serious waste of Podrick’s talents. 

I thiiiiink in the books Sansa was up to her eyeballs in “moon tea” to make sure she didn’t have any little Boltons running around, but yeah. Honestly, she might have extracted that concession just because she knew her luck was hot and she doesn’t want to pay taxes south. 

Naath is a bad choice for like six reasons, including the fact that they are like CONSTANTLY harried by slavers. If I were an Unsullied, I sure as shit would want to stay in a country where slaving is punishable by death. 

I think it was less about Bran and more about the next one. Because Westeros is like 1 for 9 in terms of non-shit monarchs. 

I felt the need to check my watch.

THE QUEEN IN THE FUCKIN NORTH, Y’ALL

Anytime there’s a movie trailer with a dog and schmaltzy pop music.