The only explanation I can come up with for EL James’s success is that millions of potential erotica-readers didn’t realize that the romance genre had moved beyond Barbara Cartland. There are so many better-written, hornier, more thoughtful books out there (shout out to An Extraordinary Union by Alyssa Cole, which I…

Is “What’s your favorite?” as bad as “surprise me?” I like going to cocktail bars but don’t know much about cocktails, and I’ve been operating under the assumption that this gives the bartender an out if s/he’s got other shit to get to. 

Shit like this makes me glad to be barren. At least I’ll be an unwoman instead of a handmaid. 

I am all for cutting him a deal: He can return to public life, but he must get a forehead tattoo that says I ANNOY WOMEN WITH MY PENIS NEEDS

My British fiance and I have been engaged 2 1/2. This Transatlantic wedding shit is complicated, especially when you both work all the time and need fairly complicated prenups.

Sophie Turner is flawless and went through puberty with astonishing grace. I want to know who was mean to her so I can go full Faceless Man on them. 

Because at one point in the relationship she consented to sex with him. That makes her an irredeemable whore who deserves to be raped and tortured, and the state of Georgia thanks him for his service. 

Thanks for the PSA! I have a big one out front that the city’s ignoring, and my neighbors are discussing a little vigilante street repair. Six-years-from-now Cunctator thanks you for preventing road-closing fuckery. 

Daenerys would be a trash queen. She’s unarguably a good conqueror, but she can’t rule — look what happened with the Sons of the Harpy in Mereen and her own inability to hold Yunkai or Astapor, the way she burned supplies in battle while bringing none of her own to Winterfell, the way she leads with threats rather…

I don’t recall that having been established in the show, no.

Calling him a dick is glib, seeing as the show pretty steadfastly refuses to give us any glimpses into his inner life, but he’s been pretty cruel since season 6 — first his arrogance gets Hodor and Summer killed, then his indifference breaks Meera’s heart,…

I think if they were going to kill Gilly, she’d have gotten a line at least! I totally thought she was a goner after Sam put her in the crypts last week and then gave away Heartsbane

Yay!

I’m hoping it’s in Jamie’s face, although I’ll also accept Meryn Trant or Tyrion. That would reaaaally fuck Cersei up. 

Bran gave Arya the tools she needed to destroy the Night King; without him, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity (live bait in the Godswood) or the weapon (the catspaw’s dagger). He’s a dick, but without him, nobody would have survived. 

Then why did they spend so much time making homoerotic eye contact?

From your lips to R’hllor’s ears!

Yay! I didn’t spot him at the end, but it was still pretty damn dark. 

To me that still doesn’t explain why the Night King felt the need to prioritize Bran, though. He’d certainly have to kill Bran eventually, but I don’t understand why he’d give up a tactical advantage and make himself vulnerable unless there was something more specific he needed or wanted to learn. 

Correct! Edited, thanks. 

Dolorous Edd, Beric Dondarrion, Ser Jorah, Lyanna Mormont, Theon, Melisindre, the Night King, possibly Ghost, possibly Grey Worm.