Yep, anyone who has ever used a mop bucket would say the same thing. What no one who cares would ever say is “how?”.

Yeah, how many Syrians did The Greatest Country on Earth take in again? We took in about 60,000. Please tell me which inferior country I’m from.

Fucking love that movie.

*red-hot iron stake*. Fixed.

THANK YOU! Now I know what I’m going as for Halloween...

Just need a terrible skunk haircut, half my head shaved for some reason, maybe a stripe of some obnoxious “hey look at me! I’m so unique” colour like, pink, or purple, and some thick framed glasses. Then I’ll make a body suit out of foam to represent the lower…

You’re so right, and now I can’t unsee.

Ah, muffins.

I have to sleep with headphones - not buds, mind, headphones - with a loop of white noise.

Nothing short of a coma would block out the hammering of renovators I’ve been dealing with in my building the last two months... But I want these, very, very much.

I have to sleep with headphones - not buds, mind, headphones - with a loop of white noise.

Nothing short of a coma…

Me after a bout of constipation.

Spagett!

Oh, man, fucking LOVE Tucker and Dale! When he’s holding just the guy’s legs after he fell into the chipper:
“ARE YOU OKAY?!”

Brief, and covering the walls.
Nah, but seriously, he was right though, ‘bout the whole “better to burn out than fade away” stuff.

He might have had more fun had his friends invited him in the house. Probably is boring to watch from the bushes bud-dum...

They need a whole ‘nother yea—... Okay, fine, whatever. I’ll try and be patient, but FYI, I’ve never been good at that...

Sacrilege. What’s next, no lightsabers? Droids? Side-swipe transitions?

It’s just an anthem. Personally, as a Canadian, I’d prefer ours be:

Yeah, someone, somewhere, is about to get triggered.

Ass, gas or grass, that thing still has grass on its ass.

Handsome fella, ain’t he?