Anybody stupid enough to cut an avocado in their hand deserves to be stabbed.

I thought they just did make a mobile Zelda game.

I miss those.

Essentially. I want to meet the son of a bitch who tells God what's up.

Oh you would not. God is intimidating. You might go in there hot, but within five seconds you'd be thanking him and talking about how you're a big fan of the sunsets.

Finally finished 4 3 2 1. Then ripped through The North Water. Quarter of the way through Bukowski's Hollywood. Not sure what's next.

Regardless of the quality of his jokes, he was at the top of the industry, selling out arenas. Then he was revealed to have swiped jokes from Louis C.K. and his career has never been the same.

Please tell me beer writer Michael Jackson refers to himself as the King of Hop.

Oof.

Damn. I really liked Powers Boothe, and I don't think he's ever appeared in a movie without single-handedly improving it by about 10%. Val Kilmer gets all the attention for the scene chewing in Tombstone, but Powers as Curly might be my favorite part of that movie. Great actor.

I think she looks like Ralphie from a Christmas Story. I mentally put glasses on her once and can't unsee it.

He will be Seth Rogan, and his weakness will be being way to high and mellow to kill anybody…on purpose.

I'm not being facetious but how was the joke stealing proven wrong. It seems pretty cut and dry, but maybe I'm missing something here.
https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0

She's a joke theif. It's not the worst crime known to man, but if you like her because you think she's funny, and then find out other people wrote all her funny shit, why do you still like her? What's left?
Source: https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0

So are we ditching her now that we know Schumer has stolen basically every joke she's ever told? Goddamn, Dane Cook's entire career was nuked over three stolen jokes. Three. Go to youtube and search for Amy Schumer stolen material. It's her whole act.

Who is playing the Beastie Boys?

That's pretty clearly The Only Living Boy in New York.

Trump is satire proof. Go ahead. Try to heighten a joke based on something President Trump said. I'll wait.

Anybody affiliated with the Trump administration is going to get a book deal. Granted Trump will try to sue you, but that's just great publicity.

Even for as old as it is, the Cyclone is a pretty damn good rollercoaster. It's a long ride and even if it doesn't have the one huge drop, it's got enough decent ones.
It'll break your ribs if you try to hold your hands up though.