I remember when Colbert was rumored to get the Late Show and people in the weird corner of the internet were tossing Mo Rocca's name out there. Holy God that would have been awful.

Dude, what the fuck do you want, a fucking resume? You really are a bitch.

No. Most of the people I hang out with are women.
Is that "woke" enough for you?

Oh my God, shut it.

For real though, you shouldn't call anybody cocksucker anymore. It's homophobic, and also cocksuckers are goddamn heroes. God bless them. Even if it's a gay cocksucker. That's not my thing but I appreciate your initiative.

Not quite though. He said he sucked Putin's cock. There's a difference.
Calling somebody a cocksucker would be homophobic as shit. This was him saying he's Putin's bitch. The joke isn't "Trump is gay" because that would make no sense. The joke is that he's willing to do anything to please his much more powerful friend.
I…

This is why we need Dwayne Johnson to run.

Johnnie's Cash and Ritter died.

The video addresses this.

Can I write?
"This week on Goop we show you the benefits of culling the rejuvenating bacteria of your colon with an old honeycomb."
I just made three columns of ten and then rolled a ten sided die to see what we'd do. I figured that was their process. I can do this, yes?

I don't think she's racist, no. I imagine I'd probably get along with her quite a bit on facebook.

How is the Jesus wine not fair trade? Are there angels being exploited by providing him with the miracle without receiving a fair wage? Huge if true.

I just find her grating. I agree with her politics though.

Steve Wilcos Show or GTFO. Just put him up there and don't give him a chair to sit in. Then Wilcos gets to call him a piece of shit before a roaring audience. And then, if it's sweeps week, maybe hit him with the Stunner.

Depending on how you show edit the interview, this could be damaging as hell. I wouldn't say the Daily Show's correspondent pieces glamorized their targets when they went out to do a hit job. Letting the guy show his ass probably isn't going to help his cause. And his fanatics or potential converts probably aren't…

Trump defies satire. There's no way to heighten the premise. Nothing you can write is crazier than this reality.

I used to see it on these english translation of czech websites a while back. Now it's showing up everywhere. My mom texted me about seeing it once. Way to ruin something cool.

The toughest part would be either the suffocating realization that my decisions can cost people their lives (not one of the existential dilemmas that Trump wrestles with) or watching that much Fox News. Though I took it to mean that my TV choices are optional.

You know what the funny thing is? I actually don't think it would be that hard to do the job Trump has done so far.

There will be no greater feeling than the day when I can wake up and without deluding myself, honestly say "Not my president."