Good lord, Fusion might break their record of 17 viewers.

When you can convince poor people to say "Yeah he's a con man, and that's what we need. He'll be a con man for us" and then vote for Trump, you can get away with anything.

I like to tell the waitress "No, I'm going to eat that plate" when they ask if I'm finished. Oh man, I am a live wire at brunch.

Every day I'm glad my parents bought me that Fuck & Spell back when I was a tot.

People are supposed to mourn their victims.

"Hi I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is the Fat Jew at the Four Loco festival."

I don't know how these things play out in real life but I have to believe four loco is THEE statutory rape drink of choice, yes?

"We don't take kindly to folks who drink libations with a low score on the IBU chart."

It'll lift your fizzies all day long.

Why? It's factually correct. You can still like an IPA better than a Pils, but it's much easier to just overload it with hops and call it an EXTREME IPA than it is to brew a clean pilsner.

"Hey, we want to double check to make sure we've got one envelope for each category?"

I would have just assumed the answer is it's a one woman show and she's a fucking nobody. I don't want to be mean but why the hell does she think people just have to see what she did?

I'm sure the movie made by successful Hollywood types knew what they were doing, but I don't think the AV Club was calling this a plot hole or error. Just stating that this thing she did was horrible.

I never 'got' Martin Lawrence. His stand up was annoying and his sitcom was bad. Martin was a bad show. It was bad then and it's unwatchable now. But we allowed him to happen. Having said that, he was okay in Bad Boys so long as you are in the mood for a movie like Bad Boys.

We're entering the Nic Cage zone.

That's plate appearances, not at bats. And .183 is a bad batting average. Adding the modifier "for pitchers" only reinforces my point.

That anomaly doesn't change the fact that he averages 817 outs for every 1,000 at bats. That's not even a very good batting average for pitchers.

That guy with the lifetime .183 batting average?

I like the DH rule because I'd rather watch pitchers face 9 batters instead of 8 with a high school level hitter coming up last. Also I hate the thought of an ace having to come out of a tight game because they need a real hitter in the 7th. And don't get me started on the "strategy" where 98% of all decisions come on…

This makes the game more boring, not less, as the deadspin staff has already pointed out. The microscopic chance of the pitcher screwing up while being forced to soft toss 4 pitches already an admission of defeat, adds a delicious wrinkle. And as you have said, this will save 14 seconds. So why bother? There are…