I didn't watch the original. I mean I was 10 and I watched everything, so I caught an episode, but I wasn't a fan. But my wife watches this, and I have to hear this precocious stain's one liners every 90 seconds. It's grating. By all means, give one episode a watch. Does not matter which one. Just wait about 90…

I do like to write after I've been drinking too much.

The little boy. I don't know his name, but I fucking hate him. Not his character. Him. Everything about him. I know it's wrong. He's just a kid. But fuck that. I have a visceral hatred to this sappy little shit. He has to be destroyed.

That was too much.

My wife watches this. I want somebody to drown that little kid in a pond.

"Tell us about it." - Thomas and Martha Wayne.

Donald Trump is still collecting a paycheck for the Apprentice. Fuck this show and fuck NBC so hard for normalizing this shit.

New Year's Eve is stupid. You're not fooling me. I'm not getting excited for January.

Harambe didn't.

Strike while the body's warm.

Daaaaaad.

I know I'll be relieved in 60 hours when it's 2017 and nobody famous will ever die again.

Where does 311 enter the conversation?

It goes for a while, and while some of the options are less bad than others, I'm a little scared of the extinction event that wipes out this many heavily guarded politicians. No matter how much you hate these guys, you're terror shitting by the time Paul Ryan goes down.

Big Orrin Hatch fan? (It keeps getting depressing as we do this by the way)

Big Paul Ryan fan?

On Christmas, one of my relatives busted out the guitar and played a few George Michael songs. Then a while later he played John Mellencamp and I got hopeful and ran to the internet. Nope. Bummer.

Don't you mean Merry Solstice? (Sigh) #waronyule.

The Beach Boys will end up playing. And then Mike Love's nephew, Kevin Love will mention something about being proud of his uncle, which will infuriate his Cleveland Cavalier's teammate, LeBron James, who stumped for Hillary earlier this year. The rift causes Cleveland to trade him for less than equal value and…

They're both terrible in completely different ways. Episode I felt like 3/4 of a movie. It was boring set up for a long stretch, and then the climax felt half baked. The big battle was so clean and antiseptic. None of it felt like a Star Wars Movie. And Jake Lloyd was terrible.
Episode II was just a jumbled mess where…