Make sure your smoke detectors have functioning batteries.

One night on the way home from the bar I stopped to piss on the bush from ground level and ended up passing out underneath it.

You should see my toilet. 🌮🌮🌮

He made the touchdown by a hare.

My mind is boggled at the comments I’m reading down here. Everything from “he’s an asshole,” to “he doesn’t care about his kids safety.”

What. The. Fuck. Are you people serious?!

1. The kids seem to be having fun. Hell, I’d love to try this challenge. I dunno any kid that wouldn’t find this amusing.

2. The dad seems to…

According to the media, it was a Moscow mule.

I guess I can buy that. I think the thrower would have to be both very strong and very good at the execution. In my subsequent research, I found what may be the best one I have yet seen:

Cars are also meant to be loved and well maintained.

And you are absolutely right in doing so. Even if I disapprove personally of our president, disrespect toward POTUS is disrespect toward the country I love.

And here we are, the wealthiest and most productive people in history.

Dude, your head is up your ass.

At what point will this pass far enough behind us that I can say I think his hair is stupid?

Where are all these groups and people who care so much about black people when black people’s houses flooded in Baton Rouge last week and are now stuck in shelters indefinitely? They need help and relief NOW and could use your help. Many minorities and and poor people lost EVERYTHING. It took Obama 10 days to show up…

To be fair, I imagine it’s hard for him to break the habit of sitting on the bench in the first place.

The issue is that any political statement by the NFL, or its spawn, means nothing

Well, that’s one way to try and make yourself relevant again.