Randomly: I got rid of my smartphone recently and went back to a barely functional dinosaur phone.

Wide Hudson River!

Huh, I’m surprised, everyone seems to like them so much. I hear that the first one introduces some characters that everyone is really crazy about.

That gum you like is going to come back into style...

yikes

Demented goth ballerina actually sounds like a cool look, but could probably be achieved for less money.

I should check those out, they’re probably good!

I dunno what you’re talking about, what’s The Phantom Menace?

I was with you until you mentioned Star Wars 1-3. I assume you mean Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi, which were great (well, fuck the Ewoks).

seriously, what is it?

on parchment.

Hey no worries, I was just being a smart-ass, plus it was the first time I ever got to write ‘amirite’ so I was pleased.

immigrants amirite?

Only pinko libfags know the word ‘empiricism,’ meathead.

undies

causality is for pinkos

best comment today

yeah, still don’t know what that word means, still too lazy to look it up online, still not feeling too sorry about that.

I like the ‘largely based on...’

wait wut what’s wrong with iggy pop’s appearance?