Honestly, I might burst into tears too if I had to go to a Trump rally.

Yes, but what are you doing with her children though? Where do you take them after you remove them from their beds? Is it some kind of elabrate prank? Do you leave them in strange locations around the house so that they’ll wake up confused as to how they wound up in the tub/garage/attic?

He’ll have to ask John Boehner what his secret was.....

Well thank you! :)

Have I got a a publisher for you then.....

That’s awesome!

Can she read It Takes a Village or Dreams from My Father?

What? You’re got to be kidding me....

This is spot on and brillant. Election after election, we sit and scratch our heads and wonder why, yet again, “Joe Sixpack,” the truck driver from Iowa went off and voted against his own best interests.....AGAIN. Well guys, this is why. You can’t look down the end of your nose at someone while asking for his vote.

I can’t tell you how relieved I was when the doctor said the “soft spot” dent in the center of my new born daughter’s head was supposed to be there and that it wasn’t “my fault.”

Tried that in the delivery room. Just wanted to see if the baby could give us an ETA on the delivery.....

Hello. This is the human (not a cat) who posts under Kinja account “bugthecat.” Please excuse that last post. Everything is fine. I wasn’t feeling well, but I’m better now. And I am a human. Totally not a cat. Again, everything is fine now. Do not contact my family. Please send tuna and clean litter............because…

Oh great. Now, somewhere in Syria, Achmed is cruising around in your old L300, blowing up innocent children. And to think, the last sound they ever hear is your old Nickelback CD.......

Genuine Ford accessory or aftermarket do you think?

The aquarium? Sure, I can dive you directions .......but um, yeah....this is going to get a little bit weird......

Oh! And he’s also an acomplished pilot. Don’t forget that!

Now, if only my mom had framed it like that, then maybe Sunday mornings wouldn't have been such a battle at my house when I was a kid.

Ironically, many gun nuts DO own 8 cars. It's just that 7 don't run.....

Settle it with a duel. You get a gun. Your buddy gets a can of PBR. Then we can see which is more dangerous....

These guys. Over Jesus's left shoulder. Surely you remember this diagram from your textbook?