OK... That is completely UNTRUE. They were not bred to kill. You know which breeds were bred to chase down prey and kill? Beagles! They were fox and small game hunters... so please get your facts straight. (Poodles too, who were bread with their long pointy noses to fish out rabbits and other small burrowing animals).

Well we are equally sick of people like you who misplace your blame.

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO. ohgodohgodohgodohgodno. I didn't bat an eye to all the other stories. But this? I grabbed my boobs in self-defense and screamed.

My story: I get blood clots during my period so big, that when I stand up from my chair, they push my tampon out and fall to the side of my pad. My Gyn said not a lot of things impress him, but that did.

Leavenworth is pretty awesome even without the drugs. There's a wine-tasting room literally every 10 feet.

When I was a vet tech, in the middle of squeezing a poor dog's anal glands, I was having a bit of trouble with one particular gland and leaned over a bit to see what I was doing and I must have squeezed the right amount that the gland squirted IN MY FACE. Thank god it missed my mouth (and I had glasses on) but it got…

I got one really horrifying one, and one hilarious one. I'll lead with horrifying.

My first real kiss was a disaster.

My mom is a surgical nurse and I'm sure all other nurses will beat me at this, but I will always remember my mom's helpful conversation with me while I was on the bus home from class. This was in the early 2000s when "anal virgins" were trending as a social topic:

so. This isn't my story but my Brazilian friends dad's:

I have a friend that had a very similar experience in nursing school. She went into a patient's room to give her a sponge bath, the woman was very overweight and when she went to clean under her breast, she found that it was ulcerated and crawling with maggots.

Oh god. I had to pop a cyst on my mom's back and drain it..... The tissue over it was really tough and after many sterilized needles and much pressing, it exploded. into. my. fucking. MOUTH. INTO MY MOUTH. It was warm and salty. The smell was on my hands for days. And in the end it had to be removed by a doctor…

Labor. The grossest damned thing ever. When I had my second child I waited too long before going to the hospital. I arrived seventeen minutes before she was born. As soon as they laid me down it started. My water didn't break (it never does for me). I felt the urge to bear down as they ruptured the sack. Almost as…

My tia, who passed away recently, was a doctor. This was one of her favorite stories:

or how about when i tried to be a responsible 19 year old and asked my general practicioner for STD tests before my bf and i had sex. the doctor told me "they didn't do those kind of tests" and i should " go to a free clinic or something"

This is a very, very hazy memory, so forgive if it gets a little disjointed. I got my tonsils out about three days before my 18th birthday because they had grown so big that they were sucking blood from my head and making me dizzy enough to miss school sometimes because I couldn't stand up. I am a very small person…

Ooooh. I have one.

I have had C. diff about 11 times, which is a kind of diarrhea that causes an abdominal writhing like your intestines have turned into snakes and they're attempting to have an orgy, but also they're really drunk on vodka-redbulls and they don't have any flashlights. At one point I was literally spending twelve hours a…

Ok, this is a story that I don't tell very often, but here goes. My whole family, with a few exceptions is in the medical field. So several years back fresh faced Rutherford is getting ready for college. Thinking I want to follow in the footsteps of Doctor Grandad and be a surgeon, he pulls some strings and I get to…

He has that same smug look that my husband gets every time a small child or dog expresses extreme preference to him over me. "Ha. Who's the maternal one, now?"