EXACTLY. I grew up outside of Chicago. We ordered regular, tavern-style thin crust pizza from the local sports bar most of the time when we had pizza. What my dad (who grew up in the city) called “stuffed” pizza we ordered much more rarely because it took FOREVER to cook and be delivered.

I wait for new episodes of Lovett or Leave It like it’s my favorite TV show! Although, it is pretty dependent on dope panelist chemistry. It sucks when there’s a weak link in the guests.

PREACH DEATH PREACH

Yeah, I’m looking at the ingredients right now and it contains erythritol, which is known to cause digestive distress in large doses. And the prebiotic protein causes “excess fermentation” in the digestive tract. That is...it makes you bloat and fart.

You are right and everyone clutching their effing pearls in this thread are lying to themselves. A “suggested serving” of Ben and Jerry’s is 1/2 of a cup. I swear to GOD if anyone here pulls a 1/2 cup measuring cup out of their drawer and can say, “Yeah, that’s all the ice cream I eat,” I will eat a pint of play-doh.

My mom kept a beta fish alive forever. They’re puddle fish! It’s why they can live without a little bubbler. They must’ve been really mistreated if they were dying over the course of an evening. Geesh.

WHAT?!?! What do you say to them?!?!?! “Sir/ma’am the implications behind this request are insane and does not reflect well on your child at their place of work.”

Poor guy, were you getting chilled by that cool breeze?

Oh my god, you are a breath of fresh air in a room populated by people who like smelling their own farts.

Neat piece of investigation! Love learning new excuses to stay off twitter.

“This site is already far enough up its own ass”

Well, I guess idiotically defending the stupid tone of a blog post is an improvement over defending the outing of private citizen in addition to consistently wading into the comments to Cool Kid all over us Dumb Readers, so I guess Gawker’s legacy lives on. Comforting in a way.

Maybe he’s being held hostage by one of the Splinter bloggers and every he pastes this idiotic “hit top” they give him a piece of cheese?

Yo, you do you you, but I would dismiss this butthead.

Nooooo, don’t you seeee, you just don’t “get it”. This headline is actually shitting all over you, you stupid Splinter reader. Now sit tight while I jerk out some sweet sweet misogynist hot takes about how Nancy Pelosi is braindead.

Right? I guess I don’t go to the movies very often, but I have never been at the local AMC and experienced another movie-goer so disruptive it ruined the experience. In fact, if someone is on their phone and it’s distracting and I feel myself getting annoyed I think about my own feelings and wonder why the fuck I’m…

This article would make so much more sense if I knew for sure it was written by a russian bot.

The Russian bots are the most hilarious (read: mind-numbing) part of Splinter commentariat. They’re taken seriously! Authors legit approve them because you can’t tell the different between the progressive nihilists shitting on female democrats and the bots shitting on female democrats!

And HEAVEN FORBID you mention this double standard because then you’re just “litigating the primary again and HRC LOOOOOOSSSTT and the Elderly Man would’ve beat Trump and YOU’RE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS COUNTRY.”

I had a 22 year old coworker go on and on and on about how she had never seen her friends so excited about a candidate like So-and-so during the 2016 primary and how that proved the answer to all the DNC’s problems is to just keep running that candidate forever because it was the first time she had seen her white…