was likely the result of man-made toxins either in the environment or ingested by Narwhal the Unicorn Puppy’s mother

I like icerberg too!  It’s super crunchy and has a nice refreshing sweetness to it.  

Lol, that’s how my salad bowl became my salad bucket--my coworkers were all like, “She’s pulling out the bucket!”

This might be a goofy thing to suggest but I think volume is an important aspect of salads people overlook. As long as you keep the more indulgent aspects of a salad in check they can be EFFING HUGE. My coworkers make fun of my “salad bucket”. But it’s all raw veggies and a very controlled amount of cheese and carbs…

The only thing keeping me from squirming out of my seat is the knowing they basically did this to themselves.

I was at a bland mexican restaurant that caters to the uninspired in our collegetown last weekend and I asked if they could do a paloma—it’s not on the menu but, I mean, come on. The waitress pulled a face and said, “No,” so fast I was taken aback. I hate going to that place so much, but the other good taco place…

I have friends who are quite affluent who are quite obtuse when it comes to talking about their food. The wife is known to say things, “Well, I just think by giving my family the highest quality and most natural food I’m showing them how much I loooovvveee them.” As if middle class parents who are both employed and…

Wow aren’t you a cool dude.

Splinter should talk to their colleagues:

I’ll save Jack Mirkinson the trouble of posting his usual SUPER CLEVER response to this kind of criticism:

Lol, get a load of these badasses in this thread. Your last line is exactly right. Don’t eat out if you don’t like the way the service industry is structured. If they have the disposable income to go to a sit down restaurant to be served, or to have food delivered already made to their house they can please spare me…

COUNT ME IN.

I’m just beside myself that this doesn’t have more stars.

Yes. By using welders and an example he definitely meant that the proposal would only be available for people who wanted to become welders.  What earth shattering analysis.

The ol’ boyfriend and I were doing our grocery shopping this morning and even though we have no celebration plans (we are both lame grad students with a big project due on Monday) I still grabbed a case of Guinness for my study beverages. I love it any day of the year, but it’s a little pricey for a “light beer” on my…

Lol, it’s idiots all the way down with this scandal.

MY GOD, we get it. You’re better than us because you care so much about the privileged brat who’s the subject of this write-up:

Lol. If LE’s response is honest here’s another way to write it in fewer words: “You have mistaken my bad writing for malice.” Which is alarmingly self-aware for a GMG blogger writing about politics.

I have a friend who had fertility issues and is convinced that the reason we’re having less babies at later ages is because plastic and toxins are rotting our body from the inside out. Not, you know, the majors reasons that make her confront her significant privilege.

They’re not assholes, they’re moms (eyeroll).