You need shoddy workmanship doors with loose tolerances that let drafts in.

You need shoddy workmanship doors with loose tolerances that let drafts in.

Isn’t it pronounced “Val-et” rather than “Val-eh” as it is not parking your car?

Isn’t it pronounced “Val-et” rather than “Val-eh” as it is not parking your car?

Hell, I’d rather go to Monarch then Aspen.

Who can eat 30 conversation hearts? They’re second only to circus peanuts in disgustingness. Oh wait, I forgot about candy corn.

Hrm. Well, my usual method is to put on the Essential Weird Al and keep shuffling until I find one that works. This might be a better approach. I’ll try that.

Steve Bannon, get back to running the country!

Just do this. It is cheap.

One that I think really helped me was: Be Brief.

you need one of these, my friend.

”Okay, but it costs more and is more work than just buying one.”

I’m always in the wrong place with sunglasses. Whenever I buy cheap ones, I wish I had bought the good ones. And vice versa.

Headphones - I’ll buy good(ish) ones and break them in a month. I’ve managed to break my Bluetooth one, my Porta-Pros, lose the rubber bit off of some earbuds, run over a set of Bose earbuds....

Coach leather briefcase when I got my first attorney position. Used it for three years then never again after I moved to corporate job and then had a laptop.

Gloves. I always end up losing them in the off-season, so it doesn’t matter that I spent $120 on a really warm pair of wool mittens if I can’t find them again the following winter.

Or as the old joke goes, sit in the very back because I’ve never heard of a plane backing into a mountain.

I can’t say I enjoy my local CVS, typically understaffed with overworked employees and somewhat high(er) prices on most items.

Why would you want to milk a mountain lion? ;)