All this Super Bowl proves is that this year, in every way/shape/form, Deadspin has been comprehensively owned not by Denton, not by Univision...but by Barstool Sports.

“I’m Tom Brady, bitch, say it Roger”.

I don’t like Tom Brady, you don’t like Tom Brady.

Ahahahahaha there’s the FU I knew Deadspin would post (as suggested in the previous Super Bowl post). I’m not a Patriots fan but I’m amused at the flailing anger and political spite.

They didn’t. And that’s not what that sentence says.

I can’t bring myself to make the PSU variation of that. Just know that it crossed my mind and it has been added to my “Going to Hell” resume.

Ouch. That ending was rough.

The player replied, “Go have another donut you fat pig”

If in order to receive the MVP from the Ginger Hammer Brady has to give him a handshake, I hope Tom goes to the bathroom first and doesn’t wash his hands.

I loathe Trump with the fire of a thousand burning suns, and it sickens me he’s in a position of power, but the day I give a shit what the pro athletes of my teams think in terms of politics is the day I stop watching sports. These guys ain’t smart or worldly, that’s not why I watch them.

You, I like you.

You mean like the extreme douche who threw the entire weight of his celebrity into the repellent and racist conspiracy theory that Barack Obama was really born in Kenya and was not the legitimate President of the United States?

How to watch without cable (or a tv, phone, tablet, computer...):

+1 for originality. You cleverly used “deflate” and “pumped up” when referencing the Patriots who were accused of “deflating balls” i.e. not having them “pumped up” enough! Brilliant! Whatever you make, tell your boss to double it.

You might have to settle for Big Ben forcing himself on the Pats defense.

But he lost a game, and now he won’t get any jewelry for winning a different game because he doesn’t get to play anymore games for eight months.

Just fyi cro magnon refers to homo sapiens

I’m not sure how to feel, yet, but one discomfiting thought that keeps coming back is how it feels kind of similar to how right leaning outlets would bring up pizzagate with a sorta “we just don’t know!” hands in the air routine.

The arresting officer wrote he is 5'6" and 145lbs. So towering seems apt. Also seems like law enforcement is an odd choice to go into if you’re of that size. I’m 6'1" and 185lbs and I’d consider my size iffy to be a professional law enforcement officer. I’d have to pack on some significant muscle to feel comfortable…

do you think we could get about 32 more gifs on the front page so the load time pushes infinity?