BUT HOW HUMAN BE MORE THAN ONE IDENTITY SAME TIME? HOW WOMAN HAVE THOUGHTS? WHY WOMAN SPEAK? HOW IS BABBY FORMED? HOW MY NAME ANCIENT EMPEROR? TRUMP2016!

“So...like a Moorish Spaniard? Fascinating...”

I’m really not. They’re lumpy pieces of shit.

Why would he visit that asshole in jail?

I just saw a Facebook fail that read:

I don’t even believe in God and I am praying so hard it’s shade...it’s probably not though...

If that’s what this is, she’s a fucking master. I just don’t know if she’s that slick.

I thought you meant “something vaguely bathrobe-esque” but I looked at the pic and nooope, that is a fucking bathrobe that someone attacked with scissors when they realised it needed to look a bit less like a bathrobe. So now it looks like a bathrobe styled by an angry falcon, which is not a huge improvement.

1. Can the Obamas adopt me please? Or can I just be their friends? I’m in DC all the time to visit my folks, we can hang out.

Yes. It is self-defense.

It seems like the failure was more than just the law, but a society that seemed unable to offer this woman and her family safe and reliable options to report and escape the abuse for decades on end. And this is clearly not exclusive to France.

I have zero faith in Cesar Millan’s dog training techniques but the real reason I hate his face is because once some bro on a bike came up to me at a stoplight and said of my dog (sitting on the curb, waiting for the light to change as he’d been trained to do), “that’s a pretty good dog but you should really make him…

Yep. Honestly in that clip, she sounded like my dad, who is about her age and is also relatively privileged. (Though obviously not on Jenner’s scale.) The difference is, nobody expects my dad to be progressive on gender issues.

I said it before and I’ll say it again. A rich white man lives in a bubble of privilege transitions into a rich white woman living in a bubble of privilege. Her awful opinions aren’t surprising.

You and that woman from the 5k seem meant to be.

By Gwen’s logic then, I should dump my husband and take up with the old man who lives two blocks away, because we are both going through the pain of a full-bathroom remodel at the exact same time. Or maybe I should start dating the girl from the 5K last weekend who had to stop and re-tie her shoe at the exact same…

A) Last time I checked, Caitlin Jenner killed someone.

can of Mountain Dew: Code Red in an off-brand Danny Zuko wig named Adam Levine

Lots of people of avoid sex with people of the opposite sex...

They will never fuck. “I’m religious” is the bullshit excuse down-low athletes like Tim Tebow and Wilson use to cover for the obvious. I’m sure Ciara is getting compensated very well to beard and the poor thing needs the money: She hasn’t had a hit in a decade.