<Stephen Colbert voice>

<Stefon voice>
This story has everything: yellow midgets in coordinating overalls, an angry retiree yelling at toys, small town journalism, f-bombs, bleeping out things that probably aren’t F-bombs, Florida...

And the award for Best Use of the Kobayashi Maru Analogy in a Food-Related Article goes to...C.A. Pinkham.

Oh you’ll hate him even more in 25 years when he’s a Republican candidate for office telling Americans they need to work more hours...I’m sorry, what? *Puts hand on imaginary ear piece* I’m being told that Jeb Bush beat him to it. Carry on, then, young man!

I’m also going to take the high road and simply compliment Joe on his ability to speak so succinctly while simultaneously deep throating Dan Snyder’s ego. You’re check’s in the mail, big guy.

Guess who is gonna be part of the gaggle of Wall Street sociopaths who crashes the economy 20 years from now. Go ahead, guess.

It doesn’t shame women into not having sex, therefor the Republicans won’t support it. And by actually delivering positive outcomes (less teen pregnancy and fewer abortions) it cuts down on the number of women they can fuck over with new, hateful legislation.

And the Best Discussion Forum Band Name of the Week Award goes to....
“Frappuccino of Hate”

Technically speaking, wouldn’t a cliff just be a 90-degree slope? ;-)

I believe the short answer to this is: Yes, she does.

Can’t wait to see post-nomination debacle Bobby J. strutting around his backyard in short-shorts totin’ lots of guns and wondering why he can’t get a reality show gig like Sarah Palin.

You say: “delusional sociopath”, I say: “politician”
Potayto/P’tahto

From the same people who believe there is an “abortion industry” trying to maximize the number of slaughtered blonde-haired, blue-eyed Gerber Babies solely in the name of profit. Like they’re peddling sub-prime mortgages or something. Reading their literature propaganda, you’d think doctors who perform abortions…

Maybe they should just move in with the Duggars. Honestly in a crowd that size it would take them half a season to realize that the two who talked kinda funny weren’t actually part of their own brood/cult.

Ding-ding-ding!
Oh, and you get to give up hospital visitation rights — that’s family only (at least in the US, Jezzies actually from Oz please chime in) and other fiddly “legal” stuff as well.
So living your faith by violating several fundamental tenets of your faith because you object to what perfect strangers are…

Yeah, Jim-Bob looks like he stole one of the plastic toupes DEVO used to wear during the New Traditionalists tour and Michelle’s pretty much says “I got my hairstylist certificate by mail!”

Well, if your sock drawer can only be described as “FABulous” (Marcus Bachman, please call your beard wife office.) or you’re on your way to softball practice...

Yeah, because the pent up demand for anonymous bathroom sex with pasty, doughy, self-loathing, bible-humping closet cases is totally a thing. And an all-gay bathroom would be the non-stop sex party that other people have told them about...

I love how when she’s criticizing other people she’s the most super-specific 10th grade Mean Girl on Twitter (with apologies to all 10th graders and mean girls), but once her clan’s life and decisions turn into a shit show again she’s all weasel words, evasions and never admitting someone made a mistake like she’s…

I’m sorry, is the 5-minute argument or the full half-hour?