Put that thing back where it came from or so help me...

And then have dirty, dirty sex so you can go get your regular abortion from the Abortion Industry. 'Cause this coupon is about to expire — oh wait, it's for Bed Bath & Beyond. Never mind.

At a guess:

And also, he wanted to outlaw blowjobs and buttsecks for everybody. Including consenting straight adults. In 2013.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/ken…

In the manner of everyone's favorite internet meme —
"I'm not saying the solution is vigilante castrations, but..."

Probably Zoe — but interesting speculations, team!
And not only did Zoe flare up the candelabra during her initiation scare, but all kinds of crap blew out of the fireplace as well. Teleknesis? Like a really sloppy and totally untrained type, maybe? That's 3 out of 7 wonders right there assuming Kyle's resurrection was…

I'm not saying any woman does — just to be clear. The poster was clearly angry, and rightfully so, at her boyfriend's blase attitude and I couldn't agree more with her.
Whatever path leads to the handsy jerk being either firmly corrected without further incident, publicly shamed or given a good thrashing served up by…

Your boyfriend should have cowboyed the fuck up and told that asshole to keep his hands to himself. That was an incredibly lame "solution" he came up with. Call me old fashioned, but if a drunk jerk tries to feel up your date at a party, any guy worth his salt would put a stop to it. And like other posters here, I'm…

Come on, people, where's the Mdme. LaLaurie animated GIF hissing "Liiiiiiieeeesssss!"?? You couldn't ask for a better set up.

Subjected to Shakespeare regularly from a very early age at prep school...some things you just can't shake. I'm mostly miffed somebody beat me to the joke. ;)

It's: "Wherefore art thy budgeting skills..." actually.
I'll just show myself out now.

I, of course, heard that in the voice of Kang/Kodos from The Simpsons. And then I read the "handjobs" version and spit coke all over my computer screen.

Where the hell is the Pam Poovey animated GIF!? It says "kersploosh" right there, fergodssake!

It's the Thousand Monkeys School of Rhetoric. But instead of those thousand monkeys at typewriters eventually producing the complete works of Shakespeare, or a reasonable political statement, Sarah just screeches random words and flings poop.

Agreed. And you're talking about 'power exchange' (thanks Violet Blue and Dan Savage for educating me!) where there are nice things like Safe Words and limits and boundaries. And generally it's not a 24/7 thing. Eventually everyone unzips the hood, takes off the gimp suit and normal life resumes — albeit with huge…

I believe Stephen Colbert said it best — I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

Sad news. Her ad was a brave and selfless act that hopefully will stop many, many others from suffering the same fate. I lost both grandparents to lung cancer (one a life-long smoker, the other most likely from second-hand smoke) and it's horrible to watch what it does to people. Hopefully she at least passed…

I love a nice 8-panel newsboy cap as well! Certainly easier to stash in you bag at a dance once the temperature climbs than a proper fedora or a pork pie.

I'm going to ask for special dispensation for swing dancers and other retro clothing types. It's part of the well dressed man's wardrobe during our favorite time period 1930s — 1950s. And we go for wider brimmed hats, not the narrow brimmed type that hipsters and douchebags have turned into a fashion joke.

So women who disagree with GOP are by definition NOT "whole women" just like active duty soldiers and vets who disagree with the GOP are "phony soldiers"? Did I get that right?