OF COURSE he drinks a lot. He’s a fucking Viking for Thor’s sake.

I don’t want to enable a criminal but your can usually find someone who’s willing to take a breathalyzer for you, especially for money. If you read this, Michael Floyd, it’s in Craigslist. Search “Blow Jobs.”

I believe that’s called a ‘Long Island Kombucha’.

The first edition was “How to Avoid Big Ships” but ships kept getting bigger so...

More binoculars than NASCAR stands:

Got rekt by a fishing ship? Seems kinda silly to call yourself a “destroyer” at that point.

There could have been a spider on the wheel. Fuck spiders.

It appears as though a third edition may be necessary.

That loud thumping sound you hear as you read this is not the drums of hell, but Jim Cornette’s heart trying to leave its chest out of pure fury and rage.

He’s having too much fun. Look for him to get beaned.

The Mets are paying Bonilla twice as much as the yankees are paying aaron judge this season.

Kids born when Bonilla signed that contract are entering their senior year of high school this fall, and kids born today will be in their senior year of high school when the contract finally ends.

All because the Mets’ owners had these killer investments going on with Bernie Madoff that they needed more up-front money…

Just a reminder, the highlight of Mets calendar is approaching quickly. Only 15 more shopping days left until Bobby Bonilla day.

Jesus! Osweiler’s so bad, just getting close to him is ruining other players. It’s like a Rage Virus, but it infects with overall awfulness.

Another sucker parroting big high top’s propaganda. When will you wake up and realize high top sneakers are killing our children!

Kobe: I’ve been taking a look at some of your concepts, and I’m thinking I might actually perform better with less support on the court.

Here’s another stat to remember. Only about 5% of gun owners belong to the NRA. Because the NRA is a fucking evil institution that represents fucking irresponsible assholes and not responsible gun owners.

“Guys, you really should’ve labeled this ‘NSFW.”

Never lost more than 4 games in any set throughout tournament...perhaps the most dominant grand slam ever played.

You must have missed the episode where May had a broken arm