Yet again, since his name always comes up: there are plenty of good reasons Eric Bieniemy isn’t a head coach.

Bonds had 99.6 WAR by the end of the 1998 season. If baseball writers didn’t hate him (and, well, he was a dickhead, especially in juxtaposition to charismatic stars like Griffey and Big Hurt of that era), he would’ve had 5 or 6 MVPs, instead of the 3 he did have, before he ever touched steroids.

Absolutely nothing you said in No. 2 should have anything to do with whether or not they’re in the HOF. If you want to feel like some karmic retribution or whatever the fuck took place, though, I guess you do you.

If Pete Rose reached base safely 2,000 straight times, Barry Bonds’ career OBP would still be higher.

arguably the greatest hitter in the history of the sport

I thought I was reading something Bret Easton Ellis left out of one of his books. This reads like a chapter of “Rules of Attraction” or some shit. 

Yeah, this turned out to be a very different and far less interesting article than I thought it would be. 

Most of those offers aren’t made to people whose other options are working for the most prestigious investment firm in the US, or a boutique architecture firm in frickin’ Spain.

(Narrator: the answer is coming from wealth.)

“Regardless of economic situation” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, my friend. I’m not speaking in generalities. I’m speaking to one specific, privileged person that grew up wealthy and overloaded with opportunity.

If I ever taught journalism- which, even though I have a journalism degree, would never happen- I would absolutely assign an “investigative reporting” assignment with the twist being that it has to entirely be from misinformation anyone can find online. 

I don’t know why anyone is surprised. The dude made a career out of passing up shots.

There probably aren’t 150 active athletes that have died while playing...ever. Combined. For all reasons. There’s a reason it’s a huge story the rare time this happens. Much less in the last, what, nine months that a vaccine that literally cannot do that to you has been available.

I’m such a pleb that I wash my hands after I wash my hands, because I touched my own filthy commoner hands.

BREAKING: Wealthy Gen-Z Privilege Baby Talks Himself Through Hilariously Unrelatable Problems, Exclusive Film at 11

And when you’re that good at catching footballs for a living...

Rams/Chiefs was the worst two-minute defense I’ve ever seen and I don’t care. That’s the best football game I’ve ever seen. 

I have zero problems doubting any of this. 

Hell, Alex Trebek was a Fox News viewer.

Lombardi’s teams would have been 100 percent vaxxed for Covid-19 in 2018.