Awesome Grandmother alert. Crazy cool grams should be a pissing contest topic.

They also tell the best jokes. Some of which I’ve re-used on the ground among friends at a bar.

Child mortality would have been a serious issue at a time like that. Not every kid would be expected to live until adulthood. She would have absolutely been able to have buried a child or two by that point in her life. She might have been wondering why she hadn’t burned their corpses when they died.

I can’t believe this is the same actress from Pitch Perfect 2. You have some versatility, lady.

ISIS bride honeymoon resort chic.

Isis bride honeymoon wear, huh? That’s soooo edgy and cool man. I just love making fun of young girls forcibly raped, impregnated, beaten, starved, killed. Lovely.

Right there with you girl:

I did not cry. I did, however, start to have one hell of a panic attack once it was time for me to walk down the aisle. As I started to wheeze and get dizzy, my father (who was walking me down the aisle) looked at me and just grinned.

They haven’t changed the fucking formula either. Visine has always worked by constricting the blood vessels in your eyes. But you swallow it, and it can constrict other, more important blood vessels.

I swear to Dad, I am so over being everybody’s object.

Maybe I am an odd person but I love it when people respond to a bouquet toss like someone just threw a dead squirrel on the ground.

I’m more confused that anyone is excited about Emma Roberts

go to the bathroom

I attempted an alternative bouquet toss that was good in theory but didn’t quite turn out as I’d planned. Instead of throwing my actual bouquet I had a bunch of tulips loosely tied together and little quotes and messages about love tied to each flower. I invited all the ladies to come up, not just the single ones, and…

Instead of tossing the bouquet, I handed it to my good friend who was getting married a few months after me, and had everyone toast her and her fiancé. She took the ribbon and little jewel pins from my bouquet and had them incorporated into her bouquet, then did the same thing I did, handed her bouquet off to her…

Are you actually making the argument that a woman in an evening gown and flat shoes is roughly equivalent to a sloppy man in board shorts and a muscle tank? Because if so, then you need to go back to the drawing board and find a new thought.

The only appropriate GIF. I cannot even.

lived in Hawai'i for years. Turned on the overhead light one day and clearly saw the outline of a dead ten inch long centipede in the glass. When all my overhead bulbs eventually burned out, I just bought more table lamps. And don't even get me started on the cane spiders.

I’ve come to learn small boobs are far more versatile than large boobs. You can do lower necklines without worrying about popping out, just use some fashion tape. And just have some cups or a bra sewn into your dress, us small-busted girls don’t need much support. Or go bra-less. Busty girls wish they had it so good...

…

I suspect this piece of shit is the first person to bring up the First Amendment when it comes to corporations’ right to free speech via political donations or religious groups’ right to protest outside abortion clinics.