The new Muppets movie better have plenty of Pepe and plenty of Rizzo.

The Muppets From Space DVD came out about the time my kids were in the "watch the same movie 8 billions times in a row" phase, and it was by far the best movie they were interested in. I only got mildly sick of it, and never "accidentally" lost it, unlike most of the other kids' movies in my house.

I'll take "the penis mightier"

Even as a hormonal, perpetual-boner-machine 13-year-old I thought Kirstie Alley was a real stretch for the "sexy bar owner" in Cheers. She always had that gross stretchy neck and never really showed off her hooters.

Why do we keep having the same nitpicky discussion about grades over and over again? Who gives a fuck? Explain why your opinion is different, don't just bitch about the arbitrary letter.

I also thought the curling episode was way overrated. It had a LOT of stupid, forced jokes. Most of the humor was of the "HA HA CURLING EXISTS!" variety.

Schadenfreude?

Simpsons
I thought this Simpsons episode was the best one in a long time.

No fucking way. The Host is a perfect movie.

I couldn't make it through Adventureland. Martin Starr was good, but everything else was so bland I just didn't give enough of a crap to find out what happens to the characters. I stopped watching about 30 or 40 minutes in.

Goddammit sugartits. Now I have to watch Raising Arizona the second I get home.

It was actually The Candy Store on the west side of Columbus OH.

I don't care if you're Kristy Yamaguchi.

This minivan is DIFFERENT. This minivan is NOT LAME. Tell your friends.

I'm waiting for the ripped-from-the-headlines SVU episode exposing the danger of teenage rainbow-autism parties, where all the kids put on different color lipstick and then suck on oral vaccines with total disregard to the amount of autism juice they're getting.

So at some point in the second year of this column logic will be so strained that I will refuse to read any more of it, but then kind of wonder what has happened since I stopped reading?

Last Exit To Springfield, definitely.

Please god don't let it be that MASH episode shot from the point of view of the patient. Or the one with Patrick Swayze. Maybe the fake newsreel footage one, that was okay.

To be fair, they probably both hit that later.

I went to a terrible, terrible strip club in my old neighborhood a few years ago. No booze allowed, it was brightly lit with fluorescent lights like a convenience store, and there were c-section scars and botched boob jobs aplenty. The worst part was when one ugly stripper came off the pole, she came walking around…