Yeah, the price gives me pause, but what really stops me from buying anything apple is the fact that if it breaks I'm bent over and fucked by apple in order to get it fixed.

I think even Kindles are stupid, but I hope Kindle kicks some iPad ass.

You know what's really nice to type on? A fucking keyboard.

Man, I can't wait for the iPad nano that is only 15% bigger than an iphone.

If they had an Apple branded wireless internet service called the iFlow, which you use with your iPad, I would totally buy like fifty of them just out of appreciation.

I'm just amazed at the breathless, year-long media frenzy about what is basically just an oversized iPhone. And it's not like people are disappointed that it's just an oversized iPhone, they're fucking stoked.

I'm not sure, but I think that might make you a closet misogynist.

Hey, at least it was an internet comment fired off in ten seconds and not the final draft of a paper after multiple peer-reviews and weeks of work.

I feel the same way about Signs, miles. But damn, I love those scenes with the sounds on the roof and porch and everyone is just staring at the walls, waiting for shit to happen.

Scooby-doo can doodoo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter.

Those crazy caucasians, sticking their wieners in everything!

At my prom we skipped the prom and impregnated our girlfriends.

All these guys have to offer the world is date rape and AIDs jokes.

Sookie is the character played by Anna Paquin, who has very nice natural breasts.

The publicist is probably one of her friends, and she probably spent hours crafting it. My recent adventures in community college has taught me the depths of stupidity that seemingly normal people can achieve.

I don't know about maggot-infested. Maybe dung beetles.

Decadouche

Everyone's moms gave them a dollar and dropped them off at the park n ride.

Isn't that Jimmy Carter's charity?

You are incorrect sir.