You mean piss on her? Definitely.

I can't imagine what even an ICP fan would see in this movie.

Indie band hotness is a totally different scale. I mean, people think the chick from Fiery Furnaces is hot, for christ's sake. And have you actually seen Jenny Lewis up close? Yikes.

Holy shit, I just realized my coworkers brother went to the "premiere" of this piece of douche. She told me this big story of white-trash drama about how her brother's girlfriend didn't want him driving to Michigan or whatever without her to attend an ICP movie premiere party, so she sat in his car and refused to get…

Someone never saw a little film called "Killer Klowns From Outer Space"

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD

It certainly doesn't hurt. If your band needs a triangle player, enlist a hot hipster girl and your chance of getting gigs will increase tenfold.

Are you my last girlfriend?

Ticketmaster doesn't do anything to justify how much they charge, other than get venues to sign contracts with them. A venue charging as much as the market will bear is fine, because they are providing the service. Ticketmaster does nothing but take the money. In every case I've used Ticketmaster, I've picked up my…

I hear he's into russian roulette.

That's why NFL teams can have 53 players. They're supposed to hire someone from each state and 3 other US territories. That way no matter who wins, we all win.

Real humor comes from smashing watermelons.

Heartwarming alien invasion
I can't wait until the kid who dies towards the beginning suddenly shows up alive for no goddamn reason in the season finale.

Also that anything radioactive glows bright green.

I also agree the idea that anything can be called "the word of god" is stupid, but people who believe the bible is inspired by the word of god vs. the people who think the bible is THE word of god is a huge cultural divide. By which I mean people in the latter category are almost always complete moronic pricks, while…

Wait, which side are we supposed to hate now?

I was wondering about that too. Is he doing experiments with absinthe?

Twilight is like a black hole of scorn. No matter how much you throw at it, it never stops absorbing it and just getting bigger.

It's cheaper than the 10 plastic surgeries it takes to look like Heidi Montag.

I play jazz guitar, and it fucking cracks me up when people make arguments about someone's guitar-playing skills by throwing out some chord they use. It's like saying "I'm good at guitar because I know how to tune it!"