This story will run during the A block of every Fox News show. The war on Christians continues right after— oh wait, he's a Mormon? Fuck him. More on how Obamacare will kill you after the break.

"That's a fucking half-hug."

-Richie Incognito

A-greed. I am a very big not-fan of the iPad's original design. Something about that back just always felt....fuzzy to me. Like, muddled.

"I'm here for the Gyro Ball."
-John Kruk, dressed in a tuxedo

I beg to differ...

Poor kid's clearly fallen off the radio flyer again.