I love all kinds of beers and prefer darker ones, but if it’s eleventeen billionty degrees outside and I’m wrenching on my car, a stout is not what I’m going to be reaching for. I’m happy to have a cold Corona in hand and I enjoy it. Beer snobs may be worse than Porsche snobs, and I love Porsche. I also love an outlaw…

Nah, it was probably some shitty craft brew that only he knows about since he’s a self-proclaimed “beer snob” while ridiculing whatever is in your glass.

“Bro, you gotta stop drinking that shit and get into real beer. I had to pay $13.00 to get this bottle from a brewery no one around here but me knows about.”

“Really?…

I’m with you on that. My Focus ST has it recessed into a little cubby. It looks like it belongs and with the recess and matte finish on the screen, I never get glare off of it. I could see these shiny tablets reflecting the sun right into your face at certain times of day.

In addition, that recess makes a nice little…

I was guessing 808 all along as a step up from the Hellcat’s 707. Those extra 32 horsepower I wasn’t expecting is a nice surprise.

A plastic bag blew across the road once and I ran into it, but thought nothing of it. After several minutes, the temperature began rising. Before it overheated, I was able to get to a garage. It was a Mitsubishi 3000GT, so I figured it was some problem deep in the bowels of the engine that would cost thousands to fix.

W…

Sometimes it was “No NO NOO! Don’t hit us!” since it looked like we would constantly be rear ended at times. That actually happened once while a friend and I were back there.

It’s the only time I’ve heard my mother swear. She is the most polite Southern woman you’ll ever meet. All it was was a delicate “Well, shit.” I…

Ford Taurus wagon because rear facing seats. If you were moving faster than light when your mom is driving, you could play with your Game Boy and watch the Earth go back in time. Maybe. Possibly?

Can I get Stephen Hawking to help me out on this one?

I do that, too. I purchased 23 tickets for that massive 2012 Mega Millions $656 million dollar jackpot. 23 is my lucky number. It’s the best number, folks, go check it out. 

Plus, they made a damn movie about it. I’ve loved it ever since I was a Michael Jordan fan back in the day and later discovered just how awesome…

I have a FoST and I absolutely love it. The FiST isn’t big enough for me, and the extra grunt and options on the FoST are nice to have. An RS is out of my range for the next few years, but that’s my likely upgrade when depreciation kicks in.

I slapped a tune on it, and it woke up. I figure I’m about halfway between a…

Yep. I moved from Ohio to California for a few years and then back to Ohio. 93 was nowhere to be found in California. My local gas station here in Central Ohio has 93 for $2.52 today according to GasBuddy. (I’m about to head over there, so I’ll update the price when I get back.)

It also shows 91 where I used to live…

I have a Focus ST, but really only need a Fiesta. The extra power of the larger car is what sold me and I’m still hopeful for a Fiesta RS to happen. The only person that’s ever been in the back seat is me and that was just to see what it was like.

My parents have a Pontiac Montana, but that’s because it will hold a 4x8…

Am I the only one that has insurance that covers any car I drive regardless of whether or not I own it? My buddy let me drive his Jaguar XKR 300 miles once. I’m the only person he lets drive it and if I’d plowed it into a tree, it would have been covered. There’s no difference between that and this.

In this case, I think you should be pleased. I’ve made the list once or twice and it’s awesome, but in here, my story about my tacky purple Fast and Furious neons and subwoofer and bright blue aftermarket radio that probably blinded cars behind me are no match for taking a Sawzall to the roof of a car.

It was the…

Mine is that the airbag is going to go off randomly and whack me in the face.

Subs were all the rage when I was in high school in the mid-late 1990s. I had a bandpass box with purple neons (not to mention the purple neons in the footwells. BALLIN’!)

I bumped Westside Connection so hard!

The school I went to is in suburban Ohio in a small town of about 5300 people. NO ONE was gangsta. I was…

When I was 17, I decided my 1984 Porsche 944 needed the awesome “cut off the muffler and punch out the catalytic converter with a long-ass screwdriver” mod. I figured I’d get a good 25 HP out of that one.

Nope! It just sounded like a wet fart in my face until I hit about 5500 RPM. Above those revs, it only sounded like…

We have those here in Ohio, but they’re limited to selling only up to 42 proof. It’s not rocket fuel, but it will certainly get the job done. I’ve seen some strange things in and around the one I go to.

I watched a driver in a car in front of me get a 375ml Long Island Iced Tea and just down it right there in the drive…

It’s definitely one of those things that seems like a good idea until you actually do it. I know better, but if I get my hands on the money, it’s going to happen. Make mine the outrageous 25th Anniversary with all the tacky bits on it. If I’m going in, I’m going all in.

The Countach was my first love, so I have a special spot in my heart for them. Now, do I also want a Miura? Absolutely, but that will be my second purchase when I win the lottery.

Anyone that says something other than “Lamborghini Countach” needs to get out. I’m 36, so I had like 12 posters of those things on my walls as a kid in the mid 1980s.

Is it good? Meh...

Is it fast? Eh...

Does it look like sex on a beach before you even knew what sex on a beach was? DAMN YES.

I always wanted mine in black…