This is the single worst take in the history of language.

I haven’t seen an owner act this entitled toward a player since Marge Schott.

I wonder if she has a structured settlement and needs cash now

“me so thelioma”

For reasons passing understanding, Pirates catcher Chris Stewart threw to third baseman David Freese as soon as he could,

To be fair, Llamas is Spanish for “You call.”

Related: Every movie gets one white person only.

Better idea:

What a bunch of no-fun-nicks you guys are. That was a God damned blast! 

Have you been meeting a bunch of Tom Cruises?

That woman somehow makes “quit” a two syllable word.

I’m waiting for her to write a song about all of her FedExes

Remember the old days when you had to spend the night in a physical line in front of the local record store that served as your area Ticketmaster outlet to get tickets for a concert?

I’ve been married 16 years and also get screamed at every time I try to get my wife to spread her legs.

If Mayweather simply pretends McGregor is a woman, he should have no problem beating the daylights out of him.

Holy shit, a ghost!

There is no “Draft” to dodge. Except the NFL Draft. And these fools got drafted by the Browns. The BROWNS. It’s like the Afghanistan of NFL teams.

I wonder who has destroyed more promising young arms, The Mets or Dusty Baker.