Or, more smartly, touch everything yourself. Only trust yourself. Make yourself trustworthy.

Almost like I was hinting at it really.

Oh God fingers crossed.

So Top Gear still ruined then.

Yeah I had a friend’s girlfriend hop in my car and tell me it smelled musty pretty much immediately. What the fuck? You just accepted a ride from me, not a fucking limousine.

Or the mall

The one who screams to pull over when you’re running from the cops. That shit takes a lot of concentration, damnit. Don’t interfere

Thanks for the pro-level obvious there.

Really looks like the Fiat should be first here. That’s just horrific. It’s like the materials and style were enough to make up for it being physically deforming to drive in.

I was doing the caricature thing on purpose. So I’m gonna.

Because you need a backup plan after escalating situations into shit like this? I’ve got something for you:

So that’s what an “Oh no you di’in’t” accent sounds like in Quebecois French.

“on the 944 it rotates counter clockwise.”

See!

It’s not so much that as the front part of the hat that hints that you have a drive in movie theater screen for a forehead. The implication being “I wanted to look like this.”

Apparently that Raptor was felled by its own bro-ness.

Nah, it stops.

“2) he calls his wheels rims”

“DUDE, dude!”

The post itself wrote about how the bike it's based off of is almost unrideable (apparently seriously overestimating the readers' capacity to take a hint on why). Not sure why you needed to tell us that in more detail. Our knowledge of that stuff was already assumed because it's literally right in front of our faces.