I WAS the Other Woman, when my current husband was, well, married before me. Their marriage was all but over; they fought constantly, they were sleeping in separate rooms. But he was still married to someone else.

Advice: Stay away from Dumbo. In fact, don't even think about Dumbo. Not ever again.

You're welcome! I'm one of the mods there; if you want, PM me your user name so I know who you are! (And of course I will give you mine.)

Yes, there are, and I wish I knew.

No, you know what? I have to say it. I hate to be "that girl," but I have to say it. Jez, please stop covering this "novel" and giving publicity to its "author." This is fanfic. This is not an original story; this is not the work of a creative artist. This is not a book that would have reached any level of success had…

Why should he have "better" things to do? Isn't he allowed to have a little fun, too?

Agreed. I never comment—don't have an anonymous Google account with which to do so—but every couple of months I spend an afternoon reading through CDAN, and those commenters are amazing.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought so.

Because Cabbage Patch Kid names are what bad writers give their characters instead of personalities.

Don't forget the stunning originality of referring to a hard-on as "velvet-covered steel."

It is horrible. And there is so much better stuff out there.

Jesus Christ, that is some terrible writing. First-person present sentences beginning with awful sing-songy participial phrases and inexact articles? How, exactly, did his erection pull off his boxer briefs in that second sentence of the first excerpt?

If you want Femdom BDSM erotica/erotic romance, I can give you some names.

"Treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor/flippant" definition is the one I'm familiar with; it's how I've always used the word.

+1

*raises hand*

Ha, when I was pregnant with my second I swear all I ate for the first four months were potato skins with cheese and spanakopita appetizers from Target's Archer Farms brand. It was the only thing that sounded good/I could stomach.

It was awful. The worst part was that I'm already slim and I'd lost like 10 lbs in the hospital so I was supposed to be gaining weight, and the only thing that tasted decent was saltine crackers with butter. Try eating enough saltines with butter to actually put on weight, lol.

Yeah, I went through a phase of trying small independent restaurants, too. Some of them were amazing—oh, Food Lovers Cafe in Ft. Lauderdale, how I miss you—but some were not so much, and when money is tight I need to know I'll at least have something that isn't gross.

Lol, yeah, there were other guys in that movie? I just remember Quaid at the quarry with his shirt off. OMGOMG