One time on a trip to NC with my girlfriend at the time and another friend (so she could visits her douchebag now ex-fiancé (thank god)) we were at a hotel and all trying to get it on in our respective beds. Me and my girlfriend were trying to be all intimate with it, but my friend and her man were just going at it…

This is complete one-up-manship, but I let a guy friend (I'm a woman — we've never been into one another) share my bed once and I woke to find him yanking it while looking at porn on my laptop. He still doesn't know I saw him, and I am totally saving this story for my speech at his wedding.

"Hammer and tongs!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Also, r-u-d-e. Is this a dude thing? Never heard any stories of female guests masturbating just feet from their hosts.

What. The. Hell. Polite guest masturbation is why God created houses with indoor plumbing and locks on the door.

Eww, that's like, the sketchiest thing ever! So disrespectful...have some self-control or hit the bathroom, for God's sake! I was a flight attendant for 20 years and had to make a man stop masturbating in first class, in broad daylight, in front of other passengers! He had a blanket over his lap but was yanking at…

Yeah, this is NOT OKAY.

You have no idea how happy I am that this story didn't end with "And so we got married."

I used to be close friends with an old college classmate and her husband. One time, when I was living in another country, the husband visited me to do some research for grad school. I took him to another city to visit a group of friends I had there, who proceeded to liquor him up, then the two of us spent the night in…

Emily Yoffe, in a nutshell

This. All day long. When she does not clutch her pearls in a column, my eyes bug out a bit.

ARG! Why do they think this is ok!? I've had other friends stay over and none of them did it, or if they did they were polite enough to go to the bathroom or wait until I wasn't around.

Letter writer should be congratulated for asking a question that made Dear Prudence's response sound like Dan Savage by comparison.

Definitely not ok if it's not someone you're not already having sex with. Regular house guests just have to go in the bathroom if they need to take care of business.

That's complete ridiculous. A visitor ,especially one whom I assume is opposite sex, should never masturbate in your presence without your permission. I'm a dumb, crazy man and I'd never do some shit like that.

THIS! This happened to me!

I don't think this is covered in Emily Post, but I feel safe saying ew. Ew ew ew.

My partner also prefers morning sex. I prefer sleeping as long as I possibly can. It is a source of endless frustration.

Real talk. Until 3 months ago I lived in an extremely petite, basically studio apartment. I had enough room for my bed bed, a dining area, and a living room/office area. I also had an inflatable full size mattress. I've had a few out of state friends visit that apartment over the years and that full mattress was…

Hubby and I go to bed at different times, so I always rub one out and fall asleep, usually without finishing. He doesn't give two shits about it. He prefers it in the morning anyway, which is totally weird, but I'm down.